Cauterize - Something Beautiful
Faded,
Away like the color in a blue sky
At the end of the day
Night falls, and the search begins
For something, something better than this
Scream or a cry the truth or a lie
I'm not sure they will save us this time
I don't wanna be around
When it all comes down to watch something beautiful die
You said the only way is to run away
You're sick of me so you just can't
Stick around to hear me pleadin, I'm pleadin
Does it show, I'm pathetic I know
I just cant stand here watch you go
I'm runnin after you, I'm runnin after you
Helpless cus my hands are tied
Eyelids pinned back so they're opened wide
In a theater, all alone
In the front row, to watch something beautiful die
Scream or a cry the truth or a lie
I'm not sure they will save us this time
I don't wanna be around
When it all comes down to watch something beautiful die
You say the only way is to run away
Sick of me so you just cant stick around
To hear me pleadin, I'm pleadin
Does it show, I'm pathetic I know
Just can't stand here watch you go
I'm runnin after you, I'm runnin after you
What happened to
The things that we used to do
You said its all the same
And that you needed a change
You left without good-bye
And now I'm wonderin why
I don't think I wanna know
All the things he does better
How the past just doesn't matter
You left me once, this time will be the last time
You say the only way is to run away
Sick of me so you just cant stick aournd
To hear me pleadin, I'm pleadin
Does it show, I'm pathetic I know
Just can't stand here watch you go
I'm runnin after you, I'm runnin after you
Look for the feeling that we lost
Where'd you have it last
Maybe if we retrace our steps
But we can't find the path
That led us here to where we stand
Face to face to watch this bitter end
Now something beautiful is dead
Hello..
I make bad decisions..
Very bad decisions..
Still damn sore over it..
-Sighs-
Oh well, it's my loss ain't it??
Damn shit
And people who know what's up, please don't rub it in by telling me the details..
Please?
Skipped school today.. <--bad decision
Went over to Lyn's house first then met Min at Bishan..
After cramming till afternoon, we met up with Ganma at Gan-ah mah's place..
Her kids are so cute!!!
But they're scary too..
Hahhaha..
One gymnist, one tracker and another dunno what..
Hahahhaa
Fun-o-logy..
Got a game set tmr morning..
Then studying..
Hopefully at Gardens Club..
Mum's got a pay cut..
Then some of those bloody assholes get a god-damn raise..
So fucking unfair.
They don't acknowledge loyalty and commitment at all!
Then they pile like a truckload of crap on her table..
Screwed bastards.
Got this from the farewell.. Damn sweet of the juniors..
Gonna miss training 'em...
It's easy to laugh,
it's hard to cry
But the hardest thing of all
Is having to say goodbye.
It's like a dream come true
I'm so glad to finally be with you
I've waiting for so long
And now I'm strong enough to carry on
Because of you.
Y'know I've got a blistered and another bruised foot right?
And I went running/walking today..
It was with someone really special so it was worth it..
Haha
My bruised foot's throbbing and my blistered foot... Well, the blister's bigger..
Oww..
Tmr I'm gonna walk even more funny..
I just love being with her..
When you walk with her, you just find the confidence to walk with your head up..
She makes you feel special.. needed.. loved
She makes each step seem lighter, each breath seem easier..
She gives you the strength to go on, even when the going gets too tough..
And she makes you stand out of just about any damn crowd..
I Love Her.
And I told her so..
:)
So anywaies, it's decided that I'll be walking/running with her every Sunday..
Well, that's definately something to look forward to..
Haahaha..
-Hugs tight-
I love her loads!
Can't wait to see her next week!!
7 days just seems way too long..
Chel: We're all screwed!! ahhahaha.. study hard gal! so in March we can say that others're screwed instead of us!
Sobriquet: Hey thanks! nice to see you stopped by.. :)
Umbrella: eh! how can you throw me away likedat! so hurt.. -sob sob-
Anthea: hey funny talking person. hahaha.. Yaay! we have almost the same nick! Well what can i say? great minds think alike ya? -grins- Naah, ain't hobbing that bad.. haha.. Anywaies, seeya ANT !
Ya lean a little to the left or the right
But you can always see who's on your side
Ya look a little like a deer in the headlights
A little blind, and hypnotised
Hey hello..
Just outta the shower..
-Yawns-
Had NPCC Sec 4 Farewell 2004 yday..
-Grins-
Fun!
So sad..
But A Low's face irritated the hell outta me..
:P
Hahha..
Played bball till 11+ at night..
Night hoops.. :)
Didn't sleep much the whole night.
Less than 2 hours
Looked at stars and talked..
Kept thinking back to Sec 1 Camp and after the campfire where we all just lay there..
-Sighs and smiles-
Now that was a good memory..
Then we woke early early and played more bball..
Oh yeah, CIs and NCOs rock at bball!!!
Sad though.. USA lost..
Oh well..
Women's match tonight!!
Then studying all the way...
Hopefully.
I have two feet
One's bruised and the other's blistered..
So now I walk funny..
Hahaha..
-Sighs-
Today is a bad bad day...
Lots of crying and laughing all at once..
We got back lots of marks today..
-Shakes head-
Depressing..
When I added up the marks, realised that my L1R4 & R5 were pathetic..
So just broke down..
When Safy checked my marks, it wasn't that bad...
Then I started laughing at myself..
Until I realised that I couldn't go anywhere with my marks..
Tears came right back..
When I couldn't cry anymore, started laughing again..
Was rolling around the floor laughing at bloody nothing!!
Hahahhaaha
Mantal..
Even Ms Yeo's said I lost it..
Hahahha
Studying starts tonight.
After bball at 1 am...
:)
Be careful which side of the Pringle you put into your mouth.
Hahahah..
New layout!
Hope you all like it.
Did it meself... :)
Prelims results are screwed..
I gotta get my study mood going again..
Damnit
ACES day sucks..
All Children Exercise Simultaneously
Got that from Kiatkin..
Hahahhaha
Loser..
Oh well..
Check this..
Deng's a century old!!
Happy 100th Birthday Xiaoping!!!
Bwahhaa...
Was watching Nigeria & Korea playing women's basketball..
They're bloody good!!
Don't think they jump like, super high, but their shots go in anyway..
There was this b-e-a-utiful reverse lay-up that I gawked at for awhile..
Woah..
Shoulders're aching like crap..
Must be all the bball I've been playing..
:)
Sure miss it like hell..
Might have to postpone guitar getting for a couple of weeks..
Gonna start reading up on it..
Does anyone have a borrow-able classical guitar to lend??
Nobody came today!!! At all!!
And I suck big time in sales..
Grrr..
Only sold a buck's worth of stuff..
Bro got better.. 10 bucks
:(
I have come to the conclusion that certain people at Heeren on Sundays suck.
And suck bad..
-Growls-
So rude!
Got so messed up that I just wanted to yell,
"Oi you bloody rich people! Can't you spare one minute of your god-damned precious
time to contribute at least one bloody dollar to fucking charity?? Screw you all!"
Kidding.
Hee..
There was this really nice guy though..
Came and asked us about the stuff..
:)
I busted my throat asking people to buy the damn things and my ankle standing around
too much.
The Skate Park was cool..
But only a few skaters around..
I have a shi-fu!!
Me and bro gonna get John to show us the ropes..
Hopfully I can pester him enough to give bro his trucks
and give me everythin else..
Ha!
Bro got shocked when she saw Janice..
Another 'Ms Yeo type' person..
Smart, pretty, looks our age, but is married and teaches at RG-bloody-S
Hahaha..
How screwed can you get?
-Makes a face-
Something happened too.
Made me worried plenty..
But hey! I had my bro there..
So it was all cool...
:)
This's my 33rd entry! -Claps-
Guitar getting's the week after!!!
When you're feeling lost and lonely
When the world just gets you down
Is there anyone
Where you come from
That'll help you out
'Cause if you need someone to talk to
And if you need a little sympathy
Well don't you know
If you're feeling low
Well you can count on me
So don't you worry, don't you cry
'Cause I'll be here for you tonight
And if you want me to
You know I'll stick around
I told you once, I'll tell you twice
I'll always be right by your side
And if you want me to
You know I'll stick around
Stick around
And if there's nothing going your way
And you wanna make a brand new start
Then let's tear down
The walls around
Your broken heart
'Cause if you need someone to lean on
And if you want to make a brand new friend
Well can't you see
If you turn to me
I'll be here till the end
So don't you worry, don't you cry
'Cause I'll be here for you tonight
And if you want me to
You know I'll stick around
I told you once, I'll tell you twice
I'll always be right by your side
And if you want me to
You know I'll stick around
Stick around
You're out there on your own
Feeling so alone
Feeling like the world is crashing
Down on you tonight
And all you really need
Is a little company
You can't hold out forever
Forever forever forever
Stick around
Should I stick around
// Hug me! I'm your honey-bunny! //
Hello, Hello won't you come right in
I'd give anything just to see you again
Hello, Hello won't you come right in
Step into my world where you know you're everything
Everything I need
Air Bud rules!
Marry me Josh!!!!!
Okay..
Hahahhaha
Sorry about that..
Lyn should know what I'm rambling on about..
:)
I want a classical guitar..
Anyone knows anyone who doesn't want their guitar?
I want to learn one particular song now..
Like really realy now..
Might just buy one next week or sumthin..
Yes yes, it's that's urgent..
Shan't tell you why..
Oh oh,
Don't foget to head down to the Skate Park tmr
From 10 to 5...
Must come ya??
-Grins-
Hope to see ya all tmr!
Ciao
I'd never lie to you.
Unless I had to,
I'll do what I got to..
You could slit my throat,
And with my one last gasping breath I'll apologise for bleeding on your shirt
Ok
I've just thought about my problem a bit..
Fine, a whole bit..
Okok..
A LOT
And I've decided...
Wait wait..
I can't decide..
Ha!
Think I should try to put it aside and concentrate on just a few things:
1) Basketball
2) Saving enough $$ to buy
(i)a skateboard
(ii)an electric
(iii)stuff for the EOY thing
(iv)<--- [is that how u write 4?] whatever i'm gonna need in a new school
3) My furballs
4) Studying
5) 'O' Levels (Actually, don't really care much for 'O's..)
6) Trying to make myself seem happy
7) Leaving my self-created problem alone
Oh look!!
I made a list...
Fuck
I miss before.
Everything's so fucked..
I feel so tired.
I'm sick of this..
Fuck
Screw it all..
My whole body aches..
I feel so cold inside..
Like something's missing...
-Sighs-
I don't want to think about it anymore..
But it keeps attacking my head.. And my heart..
Fuck it
I feel like someone's stabbing me..
It hurts...
I know why it hurts, I know how to cure it..
But my 'cure' has side effects..
I might end up feeling better, or I might end up hurting more..
I don't know what I'm gonna do...
I'm afraid I'll spoil everything that I've waited for..
I'm just scared..
This's more stressful than studying,
More tiring than waiting
And more dificult than letting Oats and Barley go..
This's way more fucked up...
-Sighs-
I dunno how my bro can stop thinking just like that..
Strange isn't it?
You're supposed to get stressed BEFORE or DURING your exams
Not after they're ending..
I'm enquiring at the IMH for a blue padded cell..
Someone help me..
Hello Barry Manilow..
I love your songs..
Mandy - Barry Manilow
I remember all my life
Raining down as cold as ice,
Shadows of a man
A face through a window
Crying in the night
The night goes into
Morning, just another day
Happy people pass my way
Looking in their eyes
I see a memory
I never realized
How happy you made me, oh Mandy
Well you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away, oh Mandy
Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh Mandy
I'm standing on the edge of time
I've walked away when love was mine
Caught up in a world of uphill climbing
The tears are in my mind
And nothing is rhyming, oh Mandy
Well you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away, oh Mandy
Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh Mandy
Yesterday's a dream I face the morning
Crying on a breeze
The pain is calling, oh Mandy
Well you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away, oh Mandy
Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today, oh Mandy
You came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away, oh Mandy
You kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you..
Barry Manilow - If I Should Love Again
Oh my love you were the only one
Now you're gone and I'm alone
All my friends, they say what's done is done
I pretend but deep inside I know
If I should love again
If I find someone new
It would be make believe
For in my heart it would be you
And though I hold you close
And lone till now and then
I still be loving you
If I should love again
All day long I keep remembering
All the nights I think of you
All my life you'll be the song I sing
I get by but this I swear is true
If I should love again
If I find someone new
It would be make believe
For in my heart it would be you
And though I hold you close
And lone till now and then
I still be loving you
If I should love again
If I should love again
If I find someone new
It would be make believe
For in my heart it would be you
And though I hold you close
And lone till now and then
I still be loving you
If I should love again
If I should love again..
Yday.
Woke up kinda late for school..
Went for a maths..
Played some bball also..
:)
Somehow we decided to eat at Pizza Hut for lunch..
But I lost my appetite..
Seriously dunno why.
Yeah
So watched them eat..
Then we went back to school and played bball..
Hahahah..
Rebby got whacked...
:P
After bball, we went to a quiet corner of the school and talked..
It was the.. errm.. most 'open talk the i've ever had...
Hahahahha..
You don't wanna know why..
Yup
Actually, didn't do much yday and tues except for bball and the umm.. 'bio lesson'..
Yuppers.
Couldn't sleep last night b'cuz of that bio lesson..
-Shudders-
Don't think I'll be able to sleep again tonight either..
Hahahha..
Supposed to be studying like fuck now..
Hahaha..
But tired
Gonna sleep awhile soon..
:)
Oh hey, this Sunday there's this Cat & Dog Welfare Society thing on in town at the Skate Park..
The Rabbit Society's gonna be there too!
It's from 10am to 5pm..
If you want, lemmie know so i can volunteer you
Or just come down and have a look see..
At the same time can support me ya?
I'm gonna be there till 2...
:)
Hey hello..
Studied a bit today..
Stoned and yawned the rest of the way...
Mediacorpse cheated me!
There was supposed to be basketball at 1.30 am..
But dunhave!!!
Grr...
Wasted my fucking time in front of the tv...
But watched some other stuff..
Like swimming, weight lifting etc.
Damn, look at they're bloody muscles!!
Wow..
Speaking of 'Wow',
Paris Hilton's one hot babe..
-Grins-
Well yeah.. there're still other hot babes around too...
They just don't know how hot they are..
Hee..
Shhh.. Shan't say anymore...
Laopo! You should know what I'm talking about yeah??
:)
-Yawns-
So sore all over..
My foot looks much better now..
Managed to stuff it into a shoe today..
Hahahhahaha...
Should be wearing shoes to sch now..
Yea..
A math tmr..
Gan ma said she'll join us if she can..
lol..
Betcha she's busy..
-Shrugs-
Lyn lost her md...
Yikes.
Hope she finds it..
Oh crap..
Mum's egging me on to re-take Chinese again..
-Sighs-
I seriously dunno what to do..
This's so screwed...
-Sighs-
I've just been putting this decision making thing off..
I mean I have to decide soon right?
-Shakes head-
Whoever said that choices were easy is dead wrong..
Fucking dead wrong.
I'm so tired..
Everyone's pissing me off at home..
Keep pushing me to re-take..
I still can't decide.
They make it sound so easy.
My head hurts
-Sighs-
Where are you when I need you most??
Oh right.. You were never here...
Results...
Reality...
Scary...
Messed up..
C6..
But I didn't fail..
But it's horrible..
But I can re-take..
But what about the other subjects?
But I have no interest in Chinese..
But what if I screw my other subjects?
But I won't have the time to really, really study my other subjects..
But I have no chance of improving my overall score..
But I may screw Chinese at the end of the year..
But there's a chance I'll do better..
But there's also a chance I may do worse..
But I'm already having Chinese tution now so why not continue?
But it's expensive and I never put anything into it..
But it may help me improve my Chinese..
But I don't give a fuck..
But I need Chinese if I wanna work in China in the future..
But I may not even make it there..
But I've gotta help the animals there..
But my Chinese's so fucked up..
But I can change my mentality about it..
But I don't want to!
But I have to if I want my Chinese 'O's to pull up my overall grade..
But I don't have to re-take it..
But I nearly failed..
But i didn't fail...
But it's horrible..
But how????
Can't decide..
Don't want to take a gamble..
But then again..
Someone help me please??
Oral was fun..
I wanna do it again... And again..
:)
I've given up, I don't give a fuck
I'm tired of being ordinary
Given up, I don't give a fuck
I'm turning away
I've given up, I don't give a fuck
I'm tired of being ordinary
I'll be okay
Everyday's another day
I can't complain, I feel no pain
Everyday's another day
A big mistake
I'm wide awake, I'm wide awake
Good morning..
Just outta bed..
Haha..
My hair ain't messy though..
-Grins-
Yday wasn't that great a day..
E Maths paper 2..
Then Chinese 'O' Level results
-Sighs-
I screwed both up bad...
C6...
When I knew my marks I was like
"Oh C6... Hey! I passed!"
Then after awhile it was
"Hey, C6... Nearly failed..."
My mood was so screwed up that I didn't have the mood for anythin..
So skipped A Math and went home...
Had mavis at 6+..
Oh, saw my cousin in Bk!!
:)
It's been awhile since we've seen each other...
She got A1...
Haix..
Ganma says not to re-take..
Budden if I don't, I seriously have to seriously buck up..
Dunno man..
Have English 'O' Level Oral later..
Hope the pictures and conversations aren't that tough..
Coming down with a cold..
And I'll have to hobble into the room with my foot likedat...
It's still bloody swollen..
So mum massaged it for me and bandaged it up good..
Throbbing.
Last night's OC was cool...
Just wanted Ryan to POUND Oliver..
That guy can really get on your nerves...
Grr
Jerk
And Merissa's losing it too!
Hell, I'm losing it...
HAPPY 39th BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!
It's been 39 long years!
And we're still better than those idiots across the Causeway!!!
L-O-S-E-R-S!!
Woo-Hey!!
Ahahah
We rule!!
Had pasta for dinner.. Coated with tomato sauce..
Red & White!
Even Oats and Barley (They're local rabbits btw) had extra treats in the dinner!
And they're hopping arnd the tv area now..
Hahahahah
Both my parents're a bit tipsy on Barcadi Coke...
We're gonna laugh our bloody heads off later for S'pore Idol...
's gonna be interesting..
Might burn midnight/morning oil tonight..
-Yawns-
Having foot probs..
Can't walk again..
Think I overworked my foot yday..
Huh..
Oh well,
ONWARD SINGAPORE!
Hey hey!
Yeah..
I know two days in a row isn't good for an 'O' Level student..
But felt that I needed to update today..
Yup
So here goes
Got dragged outta bed earlliee in the morning
So went with mum and dad to the sinseh once more...
But I walked.. WALKED!
-Grins-
His wife massaged my foot..
But didn't cry out..
Hahahha...
Yeah..
So hobbled home to finish up my tution work
The Kris smsed me asking me to head over to sch..
And suprisingly, my mum allowed me to!
So took my time and hobled onto and off the bus for 1 stop..
Bwhahahaha
Yeah..
Managed to hobble round sch squirting ppl with water and hopping away from ppl with water..
AHahhaha
It was seriously fun..
Hung with the sjab people..
They were nutsy...
Manning their balloon-pop stall..
Clarissa came all nicely dressed up..
And I made her wet..
-Evil grin-
Of course I got wet too..
But the bloody heat dried us all up real quick..
Hee..
Drenched people: Mallory, Gen, Desiree, Pricilla, Kendra, Clarissa and me..
Then others copied our water game..
Get your own game losers!!!
Hee..
Even managed to play bball while hopping on one foot and with Ann irritating me..
Hee..
Glad I went..
Then sat and had a good long chat with Ryan..
-Grins-
Yup..
Funny..
Then hobbled all the way home with Ryan accompanying me..
Thanks bro! :)
Oh, and check this out
OATS
BARLEY
Hey hello!
Today's one of those 'special day' things
So thought I'd give myself a break..
Hee..
Not too long a break lah..
Anywaies, busted my ankle 2 days ago..
It swollen and wrapped up and all..
Like something from The Mummy Returns..
lol!
Yeah..
Can't walk
So got rolled round sch yday..
A big 'THANK YOU!!!' for the peeps who helped me out...
Denise, Min, Safy, Lynnie, Nugget, Dawn, Desiree & Kris..
Owe you all sumthing when I get better..
And I owe Merissa a head of messy hair and a crumpled uniform..
-Evil grin-
Yuppers
Got damn jealous over sumthin yday..
Bloody shit..
-Sighs-
Went to see the sinseh on wed..
It hurt like fuck..
I've honestly have never experienced such pain in my whole life..
Bloody guy's damn rough.. But good..
The pain was like... No other..
Bloody crap..
I'll never forget that..
All bcos of the back gate..
Hahahahah..
What shit..
Yeah..
So we've got what? 5 days to r&r??
-Grins-
But can't go out to study..
Will only be able to hobble to Mavis on Sunday..
I miss Boots...
:(
-Sighs-
Yeah
Gonna be dependent on Mr Rolly till I can walk..
Think he's a bit spoilt from going all round sch..
Hahhaha.. Yup, named him...
:p
I need crutches..
But thank god it's not a fracture..
Just a bloody bad sprain..
And I mean bloody bad..
Hahahha..
Right, break's over..
Choc fudge cake, here I come!!
:)
Cause she's the blade and you're just paper
And you're afraid cause she's got closer
You're backstepping and she's backstabbing
Everything in your life
She stole everything your heart desired
Now you want it back
She stole everything your heart desired
Now you want it back
// Animal Concerns Research & Education Society //
// Action for Singapore Dogs //
// Agri-food & Veterinary Authority //
// Animal Lovers League //
// Cat Welfare Society //
// DogX Club //
// House Rabbit Society Singapore //
// Metta Cats //
// Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (Singapore) //