Saturday, January 29
Pictures on the wall
Just waiting there to fall
Still remind me
That painful holiday
Can almost here you say
"Please don't miss me too long"
What did I do wrong
Could of sung a different song
You were my tune
Make my heart believe
A want is not a need
And I'm alright without you
The days go by
The nights don't change
The stars still spell out your name
I will wait for you
The world has let me down
Is it you're just not around
I've lost my reason
All the memories
And every smile you gave to me
You can keep them
The days go by
The nights don't change
The stars still spell out your name
I will wait for you
I will wait for you
I will wait for you
I will wait for you
I will wait for
The days go by
And still
I will wait for you
How am I supposed to feel
About the things I've done
I don't know if I should stay
Or turn around and run
I know that I hurt you
Things will never be the same
The only love I ever knew
I threw it all away
Tuesday, January 25
Today,
Rushed for an interview at some ulu pandan place..
It turned out that the job description is mainly to talk to people.
I said no after I heard that.
No way in hell am I gonna preach to complete strangers about how great my company's products are.
Bullshit.
Towning afterwards to grin at Anthea.. Kiat wasn't there.
Then brought Jenny to see my baby..
:)
Jenny thinks she's adorable..
-Grins-
Naughty girl growled and threatened to bite when I touched her paw..
:|
Wonder what's up with that.
Then met jie on the bus where we talked a bit about err.. Stuff I can't post about.
It's sad really, that everyone kinda agrees with my point of view on the situation.
Sometimes, I would've preferred a simple, direct answer to a simple, direct question.
Yday,
Woke early then met Min and Safy to go back to sch..
Stupid woman in the General Office said can only go back after sch hours..
-Rolls eyes-
Whatever.
So we sneakly shot a few baskets then left for rm.
Rm-ed till 12 and got a job and Long John's there then back to my place.
On the way home I saw Ms Lim thru the fence and then we all started yelling Ms Lim.
:)
She didn't know who it was yelling their heads off at her..
Haha..
Funny woman brought us to the Teacher's Office to pass me my stuff.
Nice funny woman.
Went back to sch after it ended to see teachers and old friends.
Das didn't wanna let us in cos she said min's and my hair were short.
^%(#
Bitch.
She said to ask Mrs Ng so we asked and duh, she said yes.
Anywaies, it turns out we had to ask Mrs Ng cos she was the new D.M.
Umm.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
We were laughing for at least 10 minutes at her.
Funny mental ganma becomes D.M.
What a stunner.
Interesting.
Also, seems like Mrs Khoo's our new ganma too..
:))
Way cool.
Those were the two people we laughed like crap with.. And at.
Pity Mrs bf didn't join us in all her tinted hair glory
She probably didn't come cus Mr bf wasn't free to chuaffer her around
Think she's becoming extremely lazy.
Nono, I'm serious.
:)
Looking forward to the 4th.
Sunday, January 23
Lyn has interesting dreams.
She dreamt me and Mr bf jumped from the roof of a flat facing sjc..
According to lyn, I said, 'Lyn, can't take it anymore.'
Then, WAHHHHHH !!!! -Me falling off the building- and later PIAK.
I think this is absolutely hilarious.
Lyn thinks I'm mad.. Maybe I am..
(:
Anywaies, she was standing next to Lyn when I jumped..
I think it's really funny..
Mr bf was trying to save me but he fell too..
I was wearing my black skate shoes and black shirt and white long sleeve tee..
Hey, at least I get to die in style huh?
-Grins-
Oh, in Lyn's dream, John wanted the shoes on my dead, bloody feet...
Whahahhaa..
And then after I jumped, Lyn just stood there..
Okok..
There's plenty more but I'm sure I'll get hell if I type it all down..
Ask me if you wanna know.
(:
It's all funny till the very last bit.
That part stung me bad..
):
So this's all you'll have,
The rest's for my heart to know.
Note: Beware of falling coconuts.
Wednesday, January 19
Composed on 19/01/2005
Dedicated to you
J.C. - Part of me
I just wanted to know
And now I do
Wish I could turn back time
For me, and maybe you
Since you want me to let go
I'm gonna get up and try
But baby,
That doesn't mean I'm really saying goodbye
Sometimes the hardest things in life
Are the things we have to do
But,
There'll always be a part of me
That's still in love with you
There'll always be a part of me
I promise you, it's true
You say I deserve better
And that, I think is true
But what happens when I realise
That the best I deserve is you
Since you want me to let go
I'm gonna get on up and try
But baby, not by a long shot
Does this mean I'm saying goodbye
Sometimes the hardest things in life
Are the things we have to do
But still,
There'll always be a part of me
That's still in love with you
There'll always be a part of me
I promise you, that's true
And
Even though
You want me to let go
A part of me
Will still hold on
A part of me
Will go on strong
Baby, please believe me when I say it's true
That "There'll be a part of me
That'll always love you."
Broke again last night.
Lucky Lyn called
And it wasn't that bad..
Gonna go with her on the 25th.
Couldn't sleep..
Tossed and turned till about 6am?
Finally slept a bit then woke up.
Decided to do up a new skin with the pics Lyn sent.
After you let it out you should feel better..
So why do I still feel so bad?
In Memory Of You
There's a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that you leave
Though I try to look away
The pain it still remains
Only leaving when you're next to me
Do you know that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay
So I stand and look around
Distracted by the sounds
Of everyone and everything I see
And I search through every face
Without a single trace
Of the person
The person that I need
Do you know that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay
Can you make them disappear
Make them disappear
There's a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that you leave
Gonna search through every face
Without a single trace
Of the person
The person that I need
Do you know that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay
Monday, January 17
I've given up trying to make myself feel better.
I'm just busying myself with trying not to cry in front of my family.
It's never been easy,
It's even harder today.
I don't know if she's reading this.
I don't think she remembers.
It's been hard enough for me, but it's much worse now.
I really can't take this anymore.
I've been trying to hide it
It seems to work well,
But I can't hide it anymore.
It's been so long
Yet I can't let go.
I still have feelings for you.
Now if you all will excuse me, I need to lock myself up in my room before I cry right here.
She's walking there alone
No one by her side
She manages to fight the tears
But the pain inside
She can't hide
And all the tears she's cried
The moment she closes her eyes
She starts thinking of you
The dreams that she had one time
Have gone away
Will they ever come true?
All she needs is...
All she needs is you
And she wishes today was one year ago
When you cared so much for her and loved her so
Not a doubt in her mind that it would still be you
'Cause the love that you shared
It was true
You never thought about it
What you made her feel
You promised you'd stay together
But the hope she once had...
So unreal
All she needs is...
All she needs is you
And she wishes today was one year ago
When you cared so much for her and loved her so
Not a doubt in her mind that it would still be you
'Cause the love that you shared
It was true
She's walking there alone
No one by her side
She manages to fight the tears
But the pain inside
She can't hide
And she wishes today was one year ago
When you cared so much for her and loved her so
Not a doubt in her mind that it would still be you
'Cause the love that you shared... it was true
And she wishes today was one year ago
When you cared so much for her and loved her so
Not a doubt in her mind that it would still be you
'Cause the love that you shared..
It was true
Sunday, January 16
Hi
It's 1:11 am in the freaking morning..
I've been listening to happy songs the whole day..
They help.
I can grin now, see..
-Grins-
Hahahaa..
But I know I'll feel down again once I finish my happy pappy songs..
Well, live for the moment I guess.
You really blow my mind
Maybe, someday,
You and me can run away
I just want you to know,
I wanna be your Romeo
Hey Juliet
Hey Juliet
Saturday, January 15
Latte's left.
So's another little piece of my heart.
It seems that someone or something I care about is always leaving,
With a piece of my heart, and too often with a chunk.
I've just realised, that noone ever stays for me.
Everybody's always leaving.
Now I realise that all I want is someone who'd stay.
Someone who'll care for me as much as I care for them.
I know I have my friends and all but that's different.
I want someone special who'll stay.
I had that, once.
I cherished it, for however brief a time that was,
But I had that,
And I blew it all skyhigh.
-Sighs deeply-
I don't know how to put the rest of my feelings into words.
It's all a huge mess now.
I hope that she's happy.
I hope he kisses like I couldn't
I hope he holds you like I wouldn't
I hope you can run away
Where you'll both be free
I hope you don't think of me
Don't think of me
I hope you're happy
I hope he makes you smile
I hope you're happy for a while
I hope he doesn't hurt
When you run away
Where you'll be free
I hope you don't think of him
Don't think of him
Nothings gonna change
Nothings gonna change
Why's nothing gonna change?
Nothing's gonna change
Why'd you run away?
Why'd you run from me?
Why'd you leave me here still looking for you?
I'm always looking
I'll always be looking
Always be looking
For you
Yeah, you
I hope you're happy
Thursday, January 13
Just heard the news today, let yourself down once again
Trusted your feelings in a place that no one goes
Will you do anything to satisfy your so-called
Friend, there's something you ought to know before you explode
All I want to do is make sure you stop chasing rainbows
Trusting those around you is an easy thing to do
I'm not saying don't believe in someone that you don't know
Just don't go on thinking that the whole world tells the truth
It's all fucked up, being reserved and quiet
She doesn't understand the message that you send
Don't give it all away somewhere, sometimes there's someone
Who can replace that state of mind, you never give it time (never)
All I want to do is make sure you stop chasing rainbows
Letting everybody crawl inside your heart and mind
Kicking you is easy when you're down that's where the weak go
To release their anger on someone who will not
Try to stand up
And give them a fight
Wednesday, January 12
Work.
Monday.
Wish it was another day.
-Shakes head-
Bad bad memories.
I still can't get rid of them after so long.
So fucking long.
Fuckyou.
Why can't I fucking move on?
Fuck you and the feelings I have for you.
Fuck you all.
Sunday, January 9
Go here or read the Lifestyles section of today's Sunday Times.
The AVA and SPCA's morals are screwed up.
Ms Wong Wai Ping, 37, who started the online group DogPeople.org in 2003, cites the animal killing policy of both the AVA and the SPCA as another reason behind increasing animal activism.
'People are getting fed up with killings, more killings and never-ending killings,' says the businesswoman, currently based in Japan.
Animals lovers were up in arms during the Sars epidemic in 2003 when AVA intensified its efforts to cull stray cats for public health reasons.
Around the same period, AVA also incurred the wrath of cat lovers when it suspended the Stray Cat Rehabilitation programme where volunteers collect stray cats for spaying before returning them to their environment.
According to AVA, the scheme did not resolve the problems of strays.
SOS Animals founder Sandy Lim, 50, feels that AVA's response to strays is too 'clinical'.
'Their approach is: 'You've got a stray, set traps for it, catch it and then kill it',' she says with a steely glint in her eyes. 'But for animal lovers like us, we react with our hearts and our minds.'
Her group advocates sterilisation, as does most other welfare groups.
Animal activists have also been calling on the authorities to control the number of pet shops and breeders here to arrest the alarming rise in the number of abandoned pets.
HOUSE RABBIT SOCIETY (SINGAPORE)
Mission: It aims to reduce the number of unwanted rabbits - estimated at more than 100 a month - by rescuing and re-homing them. It also holds talks on rabbit welfare in schools.
In the beginning: The society started in 2002 as a Yahoo online group for Singaporeans who love rabbits. It registered itself as a society that year. It is affiliated to the House Rabbit Society in the United States, the flagship body that promotes rabbit welfare around the world. The society here currently has about 250 members.
'My five bunnies leave a trail of destruction in the house but I don't care because they're just so sweet,' says HRSS member Christine Teo, 24.
Flock: Currently, 25 rabbits are awaiting adoption. They are in the care of foster homes. The society foots the bills for their care.
Kennel:None.
Manpower/cost: Ten committee members work from home, maintaining the website and coordinating talks and adoption efforts. Operational costs are about $700 a month, excluding medical expenses for sick rabbits. Costs are met primarily by donations and sale of merchandise like car decals.
Soundbite: 'I've seen rabbits being eaten on reality shows on television. I've heard of rabbits being shot or electrocuted by Australian farmers. You can't change the world.
'But we just want to show Singaporeans that rabbits are affectionate and intelligent companions, not pests or food,' says president Teeny Teh, 24, a marketing executive for an IT company.
Poster pet: Cashew, a three-year-old rabbit. It was abandoned at an old folks' home last year and adopted by Ms Teh.
Contact: E-mail info@hrss.net or visit www.hrss.net
Action For Singapore Dogs (ASD) www.asdsingapore.com
Canine Love www.k9love.org
Noah's Ark Natural Animal Sanctuary (NANAS) www.noahsarklodge.com
House Rabbit Society of Singapore (HRSS) www.hrss.net
SOS Animals www.sosanimals.com
Cat Welfare Society www.catwelfare.org
Saturday, January 8
Hey
Think I'm doing slightly better today..
Although every little thing still gets on my nerves.
I can't exactally help it.
But, I'm gonna try to control it..
Hopefully with the help of a professional..
How's the template?
Did it myself..
:))
Well, my old fascination with dinosaurs came back to kick me in the ass while I was blogskin surfing..
So I thought a JP3 skin'd be interesting since noone has it..
Yeah.
If you can't find stuff about me that's cos it's kinda hidden..
-Shrugs-
Can't decide on the tagboard color though.
Comments?
I hear JP4's gonna come out this year..
-Rubs hands eagerly-
Can't wait..
Friday, January 7
Even though some things are better left unsaid
There's a few things I need to get off my chest
I need to vent - let me tell you why
You leave me no hope, no life
Nothing worth living for
I've taken it, can't take it anymore
My worst nightmare
You make me want to slit my own fucking throat
Just so I'll be rid of you
Just to get rid of you
You self-righteous fuck
Give me a reason not to rip your fucking face off
Why don't you take a good look in these eyes
Cause I'm the one that's gonna tear your fucking heart out
My hate is contagious; you've got no one to run to
EXILE
EXILE
EXILE
EXILE
Just tell me fucking why everything becomes an issue
Your opinion is always senseless - fuck this
You make my fucking skin crawl
I've lived with it - can't stand anymore
My worst nightmare
I want to take a bullet in the fucking head
Every time I think of you,
Every time I think of you
You self-righteous fuck
Give me a reason not to rip your fucking face off
Why don't you take a good look in these eyes
Cause I'm the one that's gonna tear your fucking heart out
My hate is contagious
Anyone else need to vent?
You've tried my tolerance,
I just want you to DIE
There's nothing more for me to say
There's nothing more for you to say
There's nothing more for us to say
I fucking hate you anyway
EXILE
EXILE
EXILE
EXILE
Can't count the ways that you light my fuckin fuse
I can't tolerate the sight of you, the thought of you or anything about you
You know what I want to see?
How many ways can a loser fucking lose
I know you'll find a way
The humility awakening the idiot inside
You spineless fucking maggot - you're just wasting my time
Get out of my face - Get out of my life
Out of my fucking way –
Just DIE
Wednesday, January 5
In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Become anti-social.
Landy
Woody
Latte
Tuesday, January 4
http://www.tp.edu.sg/tp4u/bol/
Undecided whether to choose poly or JC after your 'O' levels or ITE course? Wish you could hear from experts and have someone answer all your questions?
Why not register for the Beyond 'O' Level Seminar jointly organised by Temasek Polytechnic and The New Paper? In fact, Temasek Polytechnic and The New Paper will be celebrating the 10th Anniversary of the Beyond 'O' Level Seminar in 2005! Admission is absolutely free and seats are limited!!!
SMS* your questions on Poly, JC or U before the Seminar and get them answered at the Seminar. Send your questions in the following format:
TPQ[space]QUESTION (e.g. TPQ What is JAE?)
to either 9018 7858 or 9018 5809 by
20 January 05 (Thursday).
*Standard SMS charges apply to network users.
What: The TP/TNP Beyond 'O' Level Seminar
Who: Experienced educators from the poly, JC and University will be making their presentations.
When: Friday, 28 January 2005
2.30 pm to 6.00 pm
Where: Temasek Polytechnic, Auditorium 1.
How: Register online to reserve your seats. Seats are limited to 650 and registration is on a first-come-first-served basis.
Enquiries: Call 6780 5024 or 6780 5017
Anyone wanna go?
Sounds good..
Think I'll go..
Need someone to come too though..
Heh heh..
Sms or call me or something okay?
nobody knows it but me.
Sunday, January 2
Just back from Safy's place..
Mood and all..
I'm so tired.
I don't know why I was acting that way during the party...
Guess I gotta learn to take it.
-Shrugs-
I hate you. Why do you have to make me feel like this?
To everyone that was there:
I'm sorry I was such a spoiler.. It's just that I was tired and I had a lot of things to deal with and they were piling up on me.. Really didn't mean to upset anyone and I feel really bad for not giving everything I had.. So yeah, I'm really sorry..
To Safy, John, Lyn, Min:
Thanks you guys.. I'm glad I didn't leave early.. That last bit with just us was the best part of the whole night.. I really really enjoyed the party cos you guys were there.. :)) Thanks tons.. Love you all..
I love this song.
It makes me cry,
It makes me scream.
Hello hello
I bring you letters from the man you used to know
Give in let go
To the words that made you feel you weren't alone
Now it's funny how we find out
Time can solve the mystery but love is only temporary
Hello Hello
That smile on your face is just for show
Inside you're screaming "Let me go!"
Hello Hello
Loneliness doesn't make a sound
Till I head back underground
Hello Hello
I bring you pictures from the man you used to know
Give and let go
To the images that made you feel at home
Now it's funny how we find out
How age can change a man
Confused but now I understand
Hello Hello
You're swimming faster than you know
But you can't fight the undertow
Hello Hello
Loneliness doesn't make a sound
Till I head back underground
Now its funny how we find out
Time keeps all the mystery but love is only...
Hello Hello
The smile on your face is just for show
Inside you're screaming "Let me go!"
Hello Hello
You're swimming faster than you know
But you can't fight the undertow
Hello Hello
The smile on your face is just for show
Inside you're screaming "Let me go!"
Hello Hello
Maybe I'll just say goodbye.
And for all the people who're really blonde, it's on my blog. Go listen.
Saturday, January 1
Harden my heart.
They say how you spend the first few moments of the new year determines how you're gonna spend the rest of the year..
I spent those first few moment doing.. well something that I shouldn't have done.
It sucks.. Bad.
I've decided that I'm gonna make myself as miserable as possible so maybe I'll forget to think about other stuff.
I just wanna scream.
Let it all out.
Tell the whole world what I'm feeling.
But I can't.
Everyone knows that.
I'm just waiting for a day that'll never come, hoping for a miricle that'll never happen, living a dream that'll never become reality.
I'm getting sad and angry and pissy.
Lyn and I are talking about how much we hate the holidays..
About what it meant to us..
-Sighs sadly-
This song's somewhat how I feel...?
I dunno..
I'm seriously messed up again.
Murder at your every foot step
A child's toy sudden death
Sniper blazes you thru your knees
Falling down can you feel the heat
Burn!
Ambushed by the spray of lead
Count the bullet holes in your head
Offspring sent out to cry
Living mandatory suicide
Suicide
Holes burn deep in your chest
Raked by machine gun fire
Screaming soul sent out to die
Living mandatory suicide
Suicide
Lying, Dying, Screaming in pain
Begging, Pleading, Bullets drop like rain
Mines explode, Pain sheers through your brain
Radical amputation, This is insane
Fly swatter stakes drive through your chest
Spikes impale you as you're forced off the crest
Soldier of misfortune
Hunting with bated breath
A vile smell, Like tasting death
Dead bodies, Dying and wounded
Litter the city streets
Shattered glass, Bits of clothing and human deceit
Dying in terror
Blood's cheap, It's everywhere
Mandatory suicide, Massacre on the front line