a farewell to a friend

Cauterize - Something Beautiful

Faded,
Away like the color in a blue sky
At the end of the day
Night falls, and the search begins
For something, something better than this

Scream or a cry the truth or a lie
I'm not sure they will save us this time
I don't wanna be around
When it all comes down to watch something beautiful die

You said the only way is to run away
You're sick of me so you just can't
Stick around to hear me pleadin, I'm pleadin
Does it show, I'm pathetic I know
I just cant stand here watch you go
I'm runnin after you, I'm runnin after you

Helpless cus my hands are tied
Eyelids pinned back so they're opened wide
In a theater, all alone
In the front row, to watch something beautiful die

Scream or a cry the truth or a lie
I'm not sure they will save us this time
I don't wanna be around
When it all comes down to watch something beautiful die

You say the only way is to run away
Sick of me so you just cant stick around
To hear me pleadin, I'm pleadin
Does it show, I'm pathetic I know
Just can't stand here watch you go
I'm runnin after you, I'm runnin after you

What happened to
The things that we used to do
You said its all the same
And that you needed a change
You left without good-bye
And now I'm wonderin why

I don't think I wanna know
All the things he does better
How the past just doesn't matter
You left me once, this time will be the last time

You say the only way is to run away
Sick of me so you just cant stick aournd
To hear me pleadin, I'm pleadin
Does it show, I'm pathetic I know
Just can't stand here watch you go
I'm runnin after you, I'm runnin after you

Look for the feeling that we lost
Where'd you have it last
Maybe if we retrace our steps
But we can't find the path
That led us here to where we stand
Face to face to watch this bitter end
Now something beautiful is dead

Thursday, June 29

Got this from Bitbitster

7 Random Things About Me:
1. I'm in school having a lab lesson about microbes in water samples
2. I like to use my teacher's tablet laptop (espically the pen thingy)
3. I call the person sitting next to me (Kwei Lin) Flasher cause when she wears shorts and a lab coat, it looks like there's nothign underneath!! (:
4. I miss that kuku in australia
5. There's a professional microscope in front of me and I'm itching to use it
6. I'm craving for a Coke
7. I think Shaun is gay (Kwei Lin says no need to think, its a fact)

7 Random Songs ATM:
1. The Pros And Cons Of Breathing by Fallout Boy2. Fall by Something Corporate
3. Stalker by Goldfinger
4. Dirty Little Secret by The All-American Rejects
5. I Think God Can Explain by Spender
6. The Adventure by Angels And Airwaves
7. Hate Every Beautiful Day by Sugarcult

7 Things I Like Most:
1. All the bunbuns that have been in my house
2. Jas!
3. My lab coat
4. Coke
5. Chocolates
6. Cheese
8. My dumbass friends

7 Things That Scare Me:
1. The dark
2. Ghosts
3. Flunking school and never being able to become a vet
4. Being broke
5. Someone hacking into potato
6. Bugs/Insects
7. Seeing people I don't want to

7 Things I Say The Most:
1. What the fuck
2. Coke please
3. Take bus laa!
4. Mummum (To my rabbits)
5. No money
6. I want money
7. Lunchtime!

7 People To Do This:
1. Lena
2. Feli
3. Ant
4. Jan
5. Maya
6. Kiat
7. Anyone else who reads this

And the time you said that this is forever..

Monday, June 26

In the car I just can't wait,
To pick you up on our very first date
Is it cool if I hold your hand?
Is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance?
Do you like my stupid hair?
Would you guess that I didn't know what to wear?
I'm too scared of what you think
You make me nervous so I really can't eat

I think I'm deprived.
I'm deprived and depressed.
I've gone and gotten all emo over a Maple character.
Her name is couchypotato.
Couchy is level 80+.
I'm level 60+,.
-Sigh-
Sad sia?

And the time you said that this is forever..

Thursday, June 15

GOOD MORNING!

I'm at Ant's house where I had my first stayover!
Hahahaha..
We were supposed to watch the England vs Trinadad&Tobago match but I got the day wrong.
So we ended up watching the Germany vs Poland match at 3am just now.
And we had prata last night! Around 4.. During half time!
Hahaha..
So we've had chomps and prata, fufilled my good food requirements.

Breakfast please!
Lena and I are fricking hungry.
But Ant's sleeping!
Grrr...
And we're watching a cooking show.
-_-"

If Yan can cook, so can you!!! Not.

And the time you said that this is forever..

Saturday, June 10

Animals are abandoned faster than they can be saved.
Imagine how those who cannot be saved must feel.

And the time you said that this is forever..

Saturday, June 3

Earlier in the day, Min asked me why I chose to look at violent zombie movies.
I think I've found the answer.

I just finished watching Notting Hill, the sweetest show ever (in my opinion). For those of you who haven't watched it, it's the sort of show where a fairytale love story is acted out. And it's so beautiful that it makes you smile and cry at the same time, wondering and/or wishing that sort of thing would happen to you.

Love stories always leave me with a sense of self-pity and I go into depression soon after if I do not shake the feeling. They fill me with a sense of loss and profound sadness. I start thinking about my past and painful as it is, I go all the way back.
Sure, there're plenty of things to be thankful for. My friends and family are loving and supportive, I'm studying something I'm actually interested in. However, no matter how I try to twist the tale, it's still a totally different issue.

Is it really that difficult for me to find someone whom I love and who loves me in return? Do I really have to go through heartache after heartbreak to find "the one"? Is there really someone for me? Or am I to spend the rest of my life just searching? Friends and family don't count. We all know that.

There was this one time, where I didn't feel alone.
It's been years now, but when I feel depressed, I still think about it. That night, I was so happy. It was clearly the happiest moment in my life. And it still is. I couldn't stand, I couldn't sit, I couldn't speak. Someone loved me. Someone cared. Someone needed me. I can't explain in words how much that meant to me, how much I needed to hear that from that someone. But that feeling only lasted 2 or 3 days. Then it was over, and I was back to where I was before, alone.

I guess that's why I prefer action or horror movies to love stories now, however sweet they are. I want to hide the feeling of loneliness from myself, and keep pretending that I'm alright on my own.

Goodbye, the best I ever had.

And the time you said that this is forever..