International You Day..

2007-10-09T00:24:00.001+08:00

Saturday,
Went out late to meet up with Danny and the guys at Somerset MRT.
Guess where we ended up for dinner, Cini again. -_-
Anyway, we went to Heeren to walk around and Justin got himself a new shirt.
Then it was back to Cini for Jac to get shades then off to Sembawang for Resident Evil: Extinction.
Hell, I can't describe how psyched I was to catch that movie.
However, the ending kinda sucked.
The way the Tyrant(Antagonist) died, it was so cheesy, corny and simple.
I expected Alice to kick his ass around a bit more or shoot him or something.
But she just used her psychokinetic abilities to push him around like once.
Apparently the Tyrant has psychokinetic abilities too, so it was like something from a Harry Potter film.
Anyway, I think an Alice with psychokinetic abilities just spoils it.
She didn't even do as much whacking and hacking and pwnage of zombie shit as compared to the first two films.
Joel and I were conferring throughout the entire movie about what we expected would happen next and how the plot was.
It turns out he's an avid Resident Evil fan as well, like father like son?
All in all, I enjoyed the movie, cept for the ending.
Aww heck, I'd pay $10 anyday to see Milla Jovovitch on screen for 90minutes.
Pray there'll be a 4th film or a spinoff or something.
Went for Macs after the movie, then Danny's house to chill/stayover.
I logged in to Maple to delete people off my buddylist, aka those who deleted me.
Actually I've been hoping that those who deleted me'd tell me, so (like Rae says) I can return the favour.
But noone has.
I mean, of course it'd be weird to msn me, "Hey, I've deleted you off my blist" but I just wanna know if you've deleted me or not.
Curiousity kills the cat?
*Shrugs*
FYP tomorrow after school.
Hellish.

Oh yeah, just an extra note.
I feel that this blog's become too public for my liking so I'm taking my thoughts, dreams, fears and writings elsewhere.
If you still read this crap and want to continue reading it, ask me for the address.
But I may not give it to you.
Depends on who's asking and my mood at present.
Last post here, over and out.

2007-10-05T23:38:00.000+08:00

Its 11.30pm and I've just gotten home from our first the first 100% FCC outing that we've had in a long long time.
Met Feli, Lena and Sze at Gardens's Sushi Tei and I had some ramen.
Salty eh =/
Laughed alot then we went to Coffee Bean to sit down and listen to 3 guys playing songs on their guitars and bass.
Ant and Jan came and we shifted over to Cartel so they could eat.
Chatted, caught up with one another's lives, and had a barrel of laughs.
Man its good to be able to see everyone again, even though it was only for a little while.
Feli left first then Sze had to go also so we all went off.
Jan and I hitched a ride home with Ant.
Thanks for the lift home Pantia!
I can so imagine you chasing after a random tailgater with a baseball bat, yelling at him not to drive so close to the other car.
FCC, hope we get to do it more often. I really missed you guys. (:
Jenny and her cool phone.

Lena and her fake smile.

Sze, Feli and Ant. (:

Think Feli took this. Looks like Lena had an idea. Hahahha..

I got this off Jenny's blog.
Sorry for stealing Jan, but I just felt it just really hit the spot with what I'm going through now.
Only the piano accompanies me throughout the day
The sleeping cello
Quiet and so old
I think you've made yourself clear
I know and I'm sure
You don't regret
You say you're upset too, that I don't believe
You being with me was in the past
I hope he loves you more than I do
Only then will I bring myself to leave
You want me to say it, but it is awkward
I don't even want to break up
Why must I depend on a smile to tide me through?
I don't have the ability
To accept both you and him
Don't worry too much
I'll still be fine
You've already gone far away
And I will slowly walk away
Why is it that I have to accommodate you even when we break up?
I really don't have the ability
Staying silent doesn't come so fast
I will learn to give you up
Because I love you so much

Goodnight to some of the people I treasure most in this world.
Sweet dreams.

2007-10-05T13:07:00.000+08:00

Anyone wants to go with? =/
Pleaseeeeeee? ><

In the brightest hour, of my darkest day
I realized what is wrong with me
Can't get over you
Can't get through to you
It's been a helter-skelter
Romance from the start

Take these memories that are haunting me
Of a paper man cut into shreds
By his own pair of scissors
He'll never forgive her
He'll never forgive her

2007-10-03T16:01:00.000+08:00

Okay, its time for a proper update, no more emo crap shitfuck. (:

After school on Friday, Shikin and I went to donate blood to Dean/Buk/CS/Leonard for their FYP diabeties testing thing.
Then Shikin brought me to take the bus from Woodlands to Bukit Panjang and we hung around at Bukit Panjang Plaza for awhile before I took another bus down to Choa Chu Kang to pick up Cole from the vet's.
Cabbed home and slacked around for awhile before heading down to Pasir Ris, Downtown East.
Went up to the room at block G, there were only a few folks there cause the rest went out to buy bbq food.
Friday night was a bit dull cause we didn't have any activities planned but once we started playing blackjack, it got intereseting cause the loser had to drink cups of water.
I drank 6 cups in succession before I called it quits.
Justin got worse, 16 cups altogether.
Oh, we also defrosted and marinated the chicken, I've never done it before.
We played cards till God knows when, there was a bottle of beer going round, then I headed home around 6.30am with Rene and Gigi.
Slept till 12+ then came online and did rubbish then went back to the chalet with Rene.
They were watching some comedy/horror show when we arrived so we joined in.
Stupid show really, its either not that scary or I'm gaining nerves.
After the show it was bbq prep time.
Brought down the food and drinks and got a fire going.
Joel brought his acoustic so we were playing around with it, wasted my time bringing my own classical.
I spent the earlier part of the night with the guitar, then with the bbq pit and tongs, and finally, with a bottle of beer.
Fen got drunk and emoed pretty badly.
Everyone went up to shower and stuff around 11, but Will, Gigi, Rene, Jac, Joel, and I were left downstairs.
I got a little high at first on the beer, then I started emo-bbqing.
Jac saw me and came over to help out.
We slowly bbqed the remaining food while chatting about Maple and everything else.
We laughed at the funny things and I emoed abit while I remembered.
Joel told me quite a bit of stuff about Lina that I didn't know before, it was enlightening.
We packed and went up at 1+am and slacked around, waiting for everyone to finish showering so we could watch the second horror movie.
The second one sucked so badly that I fell asleep lah.
Super boring storyline, pathetic attempts at creating ghosts.
There were too many people in the room and not enough places to sleep in so we played 'Murderer', our standard stayover game, till daybreak and I headed home.
All in all, Xiang, Guin, Danny, Boye, Will, Jac, Fen, Xin, Gigi, Rene, Justin, Bev, Joel, Nic, Daph, Wenjie, Wee, Kk, Charcoal, Daniel, Strstr, Egg, Shiroi, and a couple more people went.

Went for the HRSS AGM in the afternoon at Wee Heng's.
Ade brought a dying bunny. Damn sad.
The poor girl has lung problems, she hadn't been eating for 4 days and was just.. waiting for her time to go.
Ade didn't want her to die alone so she brought the girl along.
Even though she was dying, that little one was so hyper and still wanted to run around even though she didn't have the energy to.
It was sad watching her try.
Came home after AGM, had dinner, emoed abit, and went to sleep.

School on Monday was pretty okay, went for a talk with Leo, Kwei Lin, KC, Derek, Jolvin, and Derek's girlfriend after school.
Forgot to do my RJ and evauations and crap.
Skipped school on Tuesday cause I couldn't get up.
Stayed home, watched the first Pokemon Movie, slacked, downloaded music.
No FYP today, played my guitar, watched videos, read facficts.

One of the videos I watched. Misty got h-o-t. =3

Sidenote: I thought I had clean forgotten about the day we met, but it turns out, a part of my subconscious remembered cause I posted your favourite song last month, on the day we got togeher. The mind works in mysterious ways doesn't it?

I'm looking forward to this Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday.
AntCharFeliJanLenaSze. It'd be just like old times.

2007-10-01T20:04:00.000+08:00

The chalet/bbq summary will have to wait.
I'm feeling really emo now.

A year ago today, we were at Dual Ghost Pirates training you.
You called your 'son' down to meet his 'dad', I remember laughing at that.
You said something like "Son, wanna come and meet your daddy?"
We still hadn't gotten a ring yet, it was plain flirting.
I remember exactaly when we had that party at Mixed Gollems,
14th September 2006.I remember 3 guys and myself 'fighting to win your heart'.
I remember us all laughing at our auto-HSing priest and what he was missing.
I remember boasting about all my achievements just to stay on top of the game, and you were surprisingly, genuinely impressed.
I remember you saying that you were going to put me on a pedestal and worship me when you heard about the volunteer work I boasted about.
I remember how our party leader and I compared where we stayed, him in Tampines, me in Sengkang, just to see who stayed closer to you, who stayed in Serangoon.
Till this day, I can't believe that I actually won that harmless game that we played to pass the time.
Remembering how we so boldly flirted that night still makes me smile.
Everything that was said was said in the heat of the moment, I never dreamt that I'd actually feel and do whatever I said in the end.
From that night on we just kinda drifted together, especially when we both logged in the next morning in the same map, at the same channel, right next to each other.
I remember how I reminded you to keep yourself warm when it was raining heavily at Lyn's place and yours, you thought it was sweet.
I remember how I stayed to train with you till you leveled at MG even though I earned only 20% in 7 hours.
I made you a lot of promises that night, and I've managed to fufil all but one so far.
The last promise was "I'll solo Zakum for you."
Never got the chance to do that before you left, I wasn't equipped enough to.
I think I would still give soloing Zakum a shot if you were still around.
I bet you didn't think I'd fulfill all my promises to you, cause they were all outrageous, farfetched, and you thought it was impossible.
I remember that that night when we met, our party leader and I asked you what you wanted, you named the impossible, a million dollars, a condo, and a fairfrozen.
I remember how surprised you were when I gave you your early birthday present.
And how you refused to take it until I dropped it on the FM floor and sat down beside you till someone came and you had pick it up.
I took 2 full weeks to hunt that wa99 Fairfrozen for you.
I remember how much my wrists and fingers hurt every single day cause I spent all my time hunting it.
I remember how I managed to keep my hunting a secret from you.
I remember how afraid you were to tell me that you failed the first two slots while scrolling that weapon, cause you didn't wanna disappoint me.
I remember how I got frustrated cause you didn't want to tell me such a simple thing and how you told me once you saw my mood.
I remember laughing at how silly you were and telling you it was no big deal and that I wasn't gonna like you less cause of that.
You were so guilty, it was so cute.
I remember keeping all the Tanathos armbands I collected till I got you your FF, it numbered 1697 or 1967.
I remember how we joked about one mega about a guy saying he'd walk in the rain with his loved one.
I said, "Baby, I won't walk through the storm with you.
I'll shield you from it."
I remember how you laughed at that and how we proceeded to shield each other from hurricanes, earthquakes, global warming and other natural disasters while laughing our heads off.
I remember when your 'A's were approaching and we agreed that you wouldn't login for more than an hour a day, and how easily we broke that agreement cause we missed each other.
I remember you seeing me when you were training your little brother's account and you yelled my name while I was cc-ing in sotongs, and I cc-ed back and realised it was you.
I remember telling you who I really was, and being shocked and surprised at your reaction to my confession, "Oh, okay".
I remember the nights we stayed up, PQing in Ludi till 6am, watching the sunrise together.
I remember when we were trading RL pictures with raisinx, how you couldn't send the file over no matter what we tried, and how eventually, I asked you to take a screenshot of your picture and you took a screenshot of our msn conversation with the teeny display picture and then I asked what JC has done to you and you replied that it made you stupid.
I remember how we trained a cleric, which you named after me "Tatogirl", together.
I remember you wanting us to get a couple-suit, but not going through with it cause you bought yourself a pre-school outfit which'd look horrible on me.
I remember waking up early, just to wait for you to login, cause I never knew when you'd be online.
I remembered not leveling to 120 cause you weren't home yet and waiting up till you got home to level in front of you, only to realise that you had already gone to shower and sleep.
I remember getting you to let me know every time your brother took over the training of your character, so I wouldn't embarrass myself and sweet-talk him instead of you.
I remember you begging me not to go for my volunteer duties at Taka cause you said you'd miss me, and I remember how happy you were when I managed to login there to say hi to you.
We never really knew each other, but we were close.
You could keep me up all night and never leave me a chance to feel bored or tired.
Every day with you was a new adventure.
I loved you like that.
I remember how shocked I was when I heard from your brother that you account was banned/suspended.
I remember how sad I was that you decided not to unsuspend your account when it would have taken minimal effort from you.
I remember how hurt I was cause you could quit just like that and leave me after all the effort I put in into Tatogirl and everything else for you.
I remember what you told me, that everything has an end, and that you weren't coming back.
I remember missing you at Chistmas, hoping against all odds, that you'd login.
I remember how shocked I was when a few months later, I heard a rumour that you were coming back to Maple and how I had to choose between you and another.

Even though we didn't have much time together, there're so many more memories, I could go on all night.
But I know I've forgetten some.
And I feel we never did take enough screenshots. =/
I still miss you and what you were to me sometimes.

I almost forgot bout the 13th of October, but some part of me remembered that it was a special day.
I shan't forget now. (:

Is this really happening to me
Or am I still asleep
Are you just a figment
Of my, imagination

Could this be real,
Or is it just a fantasy
Its been so long,
That I have to tell you this

I've been waiting for so long
For you to come and be with me and
I say I'll be true to you and
To the one who gave you to me

I've been waiting for so long
For you to come and be with me and
I say I'll be true to you and
To the one who gave you to me

2007-10-01T14:57:00.000+08:00

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can.
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

2007-09-30T19:03:00.000+08:00

Just had a dinner of cold LJS and I think I'm going to sleep now.
Too tired to update bout the chalet and bbq stuff, I'll do it tomorrow.

Just realised that I've been walking around with my pants unzipped.
Yikes.

My emo song for this moment.
I miss.. I miss..
I wonder, wonder if you miss..
Oh well, I'll keep it all to myself for now.
Some things are best left unsaid. (:

Lene Marlin - Wish I Could

I thought I did everything right
I thought I treated you,
The best way I know how
But where do I find myself now
Where do I find myself now
I look around,
And my friend you're gone,
What did I do wrong

I wish I could say that if you change you're mind I'm here
That if you call for me, I'm there
if you're hurting, I'll run fast, forget about the past
I'll be right by your side,
Be right by your side

I thought you cared for real
I thought that I was good to you,
And made you smile a lot
But this is what I've got
But this is what I've got
I look around,
And my friend you are gone,
I guess you've been for long

I wish I could say that if you change you're mind I'm here
That if you call for me, I'm there
If you're hurting, I'll run fast, forget about the past
I'll be right by your side,
I'll be right by your side

Where do I find myself now,
Where do I find myself now

I wish I could say that if you change you're mind I'm here
That if you call for me, I'm there
If you're hurting, I'll run fast, forget about the past
I'll be right by your side,
I wish I could say that if you change you're mind I'm here
That if you call for me, I'm there
If you're hurting, I'll run fast, forget about the past
I'll be right by your side

2007-09-28T16:08:00.000+08:00

Part of my RJ(reflection journal) today asked "If you were to be a CEO, what business would you want to start and elaborate."
Up till today, I remember the promise I made back in Primary school.
One day, my best friend(who had a passion for animals too) and I, were talking about what we wanted to be when we grew up.
Both of us decided that we wanted to be vets to help animals and we made a pact.
We'd help each other work towards the goal of becoming a vet and we'd open up a clinic together once we were old enough and got our veterinary licenses.
I still remember what we said that day, and we even shook on it.
But we've lost contact since entering Secondary school and I haven't seen her in years.
Gerald, I wonder how you're doing now, and I hope Shadow's fine too.
No matter what happens, you'll always be my first best buddy.

Well, enough of emo memories.
My eye's been hurting all day long, dunno what the heck's wrong.
Its 4.15pm and I'm off to donate blood, then head to Chua Chu Kang to pick up Cole from his operation, head home, shower, change, pack, and head off for a 3 day 2 night chalet at Pasir Ris.

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
I'm undeafeatable!

2007-09-27T22:51:00.000+08:00

Just finished watching Pokemon Movie 8: Lucario And The Mystery Of Mew
I dunno why heros are so rare these days and hard to find, but they're everywhere in movies, books, cartoons, fictional crap.
Although the last bit was the expected, cliche, self-sacrificing bit, it still made me wanna cry.
Especially when Pikachu thought he lost Ash for good, when that yellow mouse cried, I struggled to hold back tears man. =/

No matter what my mood or how my day was, at the end of the day, the songs still make me smile as I lose myself in the music and lyrics of what people may refer to as a childish cartoon.
It provides me with the strength and determination I need to move on.
Especially since I had to sift though old screenshots today to send to Rae.
Luckly I did it in school, no chance of crying there. (:
"Grow up la," my mother says, as she sees me watching Pokemon.
But hey, I don't care.
Cause, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, I'm unbeatable!

Pokémon: Advanced Battle Theme - I'm Unbeatable

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
I’m unbeatable

Walking down this endless highway
Nothing but my friends beside me
We’ll never give in, we’ll never rest
Advanced Battle is the ultimate test!

From the earth, the land, the sea and sky
They can never win but they sure can try!

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
I’m unbeatable
Pokémon
Advanced Battle!
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
I’m undefeatable

From the stars and the ancient past
They come to play but they’ll never last

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
I’m unbeatable!
Pokémon
Advanced Battle!
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
I’m undefeatable!

You think you’ll win but soon you’ll see
You may be strong but you can’t beat me!

I’m undefeatable!

There’s a feeling deep inside me
And its always there to guide me
Its in my heart and in my soul
Leading me to the ultimate goal!

You can try your best this might be fun
You’ll go down to defeat before you’ve begun!

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
I’m unbeatable!
Pokémon
Advanced Battle!
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
I’m undefeatable!

Every move, each attack you choose
You think you can win but you’ll always lose!

Oh-oh-oh!
Advanced Battle
I’m unbeatable
Pokémon!

2007-09-26T22:59:00.001+08:00

A conversation with some of my favourite people in the world.
You guys have no idea how much I'm looking forward to Friday.

2007-09-26T21:23:00.000+08:00

This is to remind myself, when I have the time, to rant about how everything's changed since SJC days and how good friends are drifting further and further apart and how it all sucks that we're growing up and we never have time for one another anymore and how I wish we could turn back time to when we were young and carefree and how much each one of you matters to me and how you've all made me who I am today and how much I miss every single one of you.

Kthanksbye.

I'll write you an ode to your memory, and seal it in a letter I'll never send.

2007-09-25T21:19:00.000+08:00

One word replies are best, hiding what I'm going through.
I'll keep at it I guess, cause you, wanted me to get over you.
I'm sorry if I seem distant, or if I'm rude at times,
Its the distance that keeps me going, that continues these rhymes.
You see, I can't let myself slip up, or let me fall again,
Or else I'll just be back, to where I first began.
You don't want me to go back there, and neither do I,
So for your sake, cause you want me to, I'll go on and I'll try.
Try to forget everything that we ever were, or will ever be,
Forget everything that reminds me of you, and of you and me.
I'm going to keep building this barrier around my heart,
This stronghold, this fortress, that'll keep you and I apart.
Then, "Goodbye my love," I'll finally say,
"Maybe I'll forget you. Maybe.. Someday."
- Joshua Willam Conner

Dunno why I was so out of focus during yesterday's class.
Hardly did any work and stoned throughout presentations.
Went for a talk both during lunch and after school.
Bloody tiring shit.

Skipped school today cause I was dead tired and didn't feel all too good.
Slept till afternoon then head breakfast for lunch.
Sore throat was killing me.
Spent the afternoon reading fanfics and snacking and drinking water.
Went to get a haircut in the evening and biked down to buy veggies for the furballs after.
Pizza with Coke for dinner.. Mmm..
Watch the 3rd Pokemon movie, Spell Of The Unown.
The last bit where Entei sacrificed himself made me go "Aww" and almost cry.
Self-sacrificing folks are hard to find these days.
My 4th movie's in Italian.
Didn't realise it till I tried to watch it and realised I couldn't understand crap.
On a brighter note, the first batch of songs from Pokemon soundtracks have been downloaded.
The songs make me remember, and smile.
Some of 'em are really sweet too.
Back to reading fanfict now.
I'll stay up tonight for the week's crime show fix and perhaps play some basketball in the morning.
FYP's tomorrow afternoon, its gonna be a chore as well as a bore.
Something's up with my right wrist, feels slightly sprained. =/

2.B.A. Master Soundtrack - Together Forever

You've been such a good friend
I've known you since I don't know when
We've got a lot of friends,
But they come and go
Even though we've never said it,
There's something that the two of us both know

Together, forever no matter how long
From now, until the end of time
We'll be together and you can be sure
That forever and a day
That's how long we'll stay
Together and forever more

Always gone that extra mile
Depended on you all the while
Even in the good and bad times
You will see
From now until our journey's end
You know that you can always count on me

Together, forever no matter how long
From now, until the end of time
We'll be together and you can be sure
That forever and a day
That's how long we'll stay
Together and forever more

No matter where our destiny leads
I'll be there for you, always come through
And that you can believe

Ash: C'mon you guys, I gotta get another badge!
Misty: You'd better figure out how to repay me for my broken bike Ash Ketchum!
Brock: Oh no, not this again.
Pikachu: Pikachu.

Together, forever no matter how long
From now, until the end of time
We'll be together and you can be sure
That forever and a day
That's how long we'll stay
Together and forever more

Together, forever no matter how long
From now, until the end of time
We'll be together and you can be sure
That forever and a day
That's how long we'll stay
Together and forever more

2007-09-23T11:02:00.000+08:00

Friday was spent in Bioprospecting and Innovation class where we learnt about GDP.
What the hell does GDP have to do with Science anyway?
Lesson was dead boring but the faci was interesting.
She's like my ganma in a way, very motherly.
I beat Dean at pool during lunch in the library, but the table, balls and cues kinda sucked so maybe I just got lucky.
Went to the library instead of heading home after school.
Managed to borrow Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing", hope its good.

Slept in till late morning on Saturday.
Watched two Pokemon movies, movie 1(part2) - Mewtwo Returns, and movie 6 - The Jirachi Wish Maker.
Ash was so cute in the 6th movie lah.
He was talking to Max about how friends sometimes have to leave you then he said, "A good friend left me, and I.. I miss her every day.."
So obviously talking about Misty.
Wahaha.. So sweet lah Ash.
Met Guin and gang at Marina South with Fen and Xin then we went for dinner.
We then headed to the arcade to play Daytona, Time Crisis II and watch Danny bang away at the drums and Xiang, Nic and Nic's girlfriend play Para Para.
They were actually pretty good eh.
Caught the train to Khatib and headed home from there while the rest went to catch a movie.

Its 11.30am and noone's home.. Wonder why.
Oh well, I shall go grab some cereal and settle down with Ian Fleming's book.

This song is really nice, from Pokemon Movie 6 - The Jirachi Wish Maker
Japanese[Hayashi Asuca], English[Cindy Mizelle] - Make A Wish[Chiisaki Mono]

2007-09-20T22:32:00.000+08:00

Managed to get shifts 5, 6, 9 and 10 for the Subaru Challange which starts on Nov 3rd.
Really looking forward to the job and the pay.
Lena and Colin got shifts 4 and 5 so we'll still get to see each other for a shift.
Dean and CS signed up for the same shifts as mine, hope we get to work together too.
Buk dragged Dean, CS and I for an hour long talk today.
Crap shit, I almost fell asleep a couple of times during it.
The worst part was the queue to get out of the lecture theatre.
We took 40 bloody minutes to exit, by that time, we had to rush back to class so we didn't have anything for lunch.
Oh well, made it up by munching on waffles after school.
The door handly that Buk broke on Tuesday made that class inaccessible.
We kept riding him bout it today and he was so embarrassed.

Been doing alot of downloads lately.
Do you know that there are now 10 Pokemon movies?
I'm downloading them all, plus the soundtracks. =D
Just call me young at heart.
I miss those carefree times.
I also downloaded 3 of Lene Marlin's albums.
Some of her songs are really slow but they have real depth and the lyrics hit home.
"I'm sorry that I could not be
As perfect as you wanted me
Just wondering what's going on in your mind
I sure hope you're fine
I hope your conscience is clear
Hope you're happy"
Bittersweet sorrow.
The music's not bad either..
I guess the music I listen to really affects my mood.
Listening to happy songs make me chipper, angry songs get me frustrated sometimes, emo songs get me sad and make me reminisce.
Hmm.. I oughta listen to Pokemon songs now before I emo, perfect pick-me-ups.
Oh, did y'know that Ash and Misty have feelings for each other but never voiced them?
Gaaah.. They should be together. :(

Yeah this dream will last forever,
This dream will never die.
We won't rest 'til we meet the challenge of the time.
(Advanced Challenge)

Yeah this dream keeps us together,
This shows that you and I,
Will be the best that the world's ever seen.
Because we always will follow this dream.

Pokemon!

Lene Marlin - Never To Know

Did you know, hidden by his clothes there are some scars
Some are recent, some have been there for years
Did you know, it doesn't even hurt
It never really hurts, but there are tears

Do you want the real story, or do you prefer the lie
Do you want to see him smile, or maybe see him cry
Do you want to follow, or let him go alone
For then, never to know, never to know
Never to know

Have you seen the way he acts sometimes
And when you ask, he'll say that he's okay
Have you seen how well he pretends
Laughs out loud, before he looks away

Do you want the real story, or do you prefer the lie
Do you want to see him smile, or maybe see him cry
Do you want to follow, or let him go alone
For then, never to know, never to know
Never to know

Never to know, never to know

Da-dum, da-dum, da-dum, da,
Da-dum, da-dum, da-dum, dum

Do you want the real story, or do you prefer the lie
Do you want to see him smile, or maybe see him cry
Do you want to follow, or let him go alone
For then, never to know, never to know

Do you want the real story, or do you prefer the lie
Do you want to see him smile, or maybe see him cry
Do you want to follow, or let him go alone
For then, never to know, never to know
Never to know

2007-09-18T17:40:00.000+08:00

It was the second day of school today.
So far both my new classes weren't that bad.
Buk broke the door handle on one of the classes today.
He was trying to keep Danny in his class then he tugged so hard on the door handle that it broke off the door.
It was funny earlier on, but I'm not laughing now.

I'm so messed up I don't know what to do.
Should I continue with what I'm doing, keep you close, but let my heart break over and over again everytime we talk and I remember?
Or should I tell you to stop contacting me, because I'll never get over you this way and that we can never be like before, just friends?
Why couldn't you just tell me that you were happy with him?
That you had no regrets, that he was better than me, everything you ever wanted.
That I'd never be able to compare to how great he is even if I tried.
What the hell do you mean by "o.o the oni difference is that i have a flashing pink heart when i train, but that's about it" and "as usual is all business >,<".
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
How am I supposed to interpret that?
Does this mean you have no feelings for him?
Don't give me false hope when there's nothing to hope for.
I'm already broken enough as it is.
When I watched you beat yourself up today over your aunt's passing, my heart bled for you.
But I couldn't comfort you, I couldn't let my guard down.
If I did, I'd have told you everything, about what I'm going through now.
Ironically, I'm still trying to protect you and do what's best for you, even if its at my expense.
I wish I was strong enough to let you go without losing you.
This frustration is eating away at me.
Hopefully it'll just kill me one day, it'd be much easier then.

Sugarcult - Counting Stars

Hey, I wanna crawl out of my skin
Apologize for all my sins
All the things I should have said to you
Hey, I can't make it go away
Over and over in my brain again
All the things I should have said to you

Counting stars wishing I was okay
Crashing down was my biggest mistake
I never ever meant to hurt you
I only did what I had to
Counting stars again

Hey, I'll take this day by day by day
Under the covers I'm okay I guess
Life's too short and I feel small

Counting stars wishing I was okay
Crashing down was my biggest mistake
I never ever meant to hurt you
I only did what I had to
Counting stars again
Counting stars again
Counting stars again
Counting stars again
Counting stars again
Counting stars again

2007-09-17T00:34:00.000+08:00

Its 12.35am on Monday morning and I can't sleep.
Watched 'Cruel Intentions', its really good but fortunately, not as porny as Ant made it out to be.
The lead actor looks like Justin Timberlake when Justin had curly hair.
And Sarah-Michelle Geller was such a good slut in the show.
Sad sad ending though. =/
KO-ed at 10+pm but woke up for some reason and now I can't fall back asleep.
I always seem to suffer from emoness and insomnia when there's something happening the next day like an outing I'm looking forward to or a report that's due or the first day of school, shit like that.
I hate change.
Change brings insecurity.
Change means having to prove myself once more.
Change means trying to make others accept me for who I am again.
Change means turning a corner and never being able to go back.
Change means a difference in your routine.
Change means deviating from your comfort zone.
Change is uncontrollable.
Change is scary.

Y'know, sometimes I wish I believed in something more powerful than what normal people can do.
Like in God for example.
Believing that someone good is controlling my life(in a way) would give me a sense of security when change comes.
At least someone can see the future, create miracles and heal whatever pain that eats away at me.
But I don't.
I believe that there's a god, but I don't think I really believe in a god.
I feel that religion was created by man to give him something to turn to when all else fails.
If you can't explain something scientifically then its a miracle isn't it?
And if its a miracle it must be God's work.
Man doesn't seem to like being kept in the dark, we like to think we know everything.

In that movie 'Evan Almighty', there's a line that everyone's so into now.
"If u pray for happiness, does God give you happiness? Or does he give you an opportunity to be happy?"
I think its kinda flawed.
How are you supposed to know that you are give an opportunity?
In the show, it was not until God Himself told her indirectly that she was given an opportunity that she 'saw the light'.
Ok so another example.
I pray to get over someone.
Even if God gives me the opportunities, I don't know how I'll recognize them if/when they appear.
Maybe I'm just a skeptic, maybe its the lack of faith.
Whatever it is, I just don't believe.

Its 1.20am.
Damnit, I'm wide awake.
I have a scratch running down my nose bridge to my nose.
Wonder how the hell it got there.

Hey now, hey now, don't dream its over.

2007-09-16T16:04:00.001+08:00

I hate that monthly thingy.
It lowers my tolerance level and amplifies feelings that ought to be easily hidden and makes me do things that I regret.
Fuck hormones.
And school starts tomorrow.
Brand new classes, brand new classmates, brand new teachers, brand new trying to fit in yet again.

Yesterday wasn't a really good day.
Left the house around 1pm and met Danny, Boye, Justin and Egg at Somerset to pass Will's shorts to them before meeting Ant, Lena, Janice and Aaron at Orchard mrt.
We went Crystal Jade Kitchen so they could have ammonium noodles and dimsum then walked to Far East.
Walked and shopped, saw the signed FFAF picture outside one of the shops.
Then Lena had to go early to prepare for Colin's mom's birthday so the rest of us went to Lido to sit down.
Around 5, we went to walk around cause Jenny wanted a black hoodie but couldn't find anything suitable.
Ant and I then went to take the bus, Ant to head home, me to head to Cini.
Met with Danny and the rest there, played a little pool, stoned.
Had dinner at Yoshinoya which cost a whole 10 bucks, talked alot with Bev about her situation.
She decided to go ahead with it so the night was spent worrying about the reply she'd get for her questions.
We headed to Sembawang at around 10.20pm.
Met Guin and Xiang there and bought tickets for 'I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry'.
Boye, Danny and I waited at the mrt station for Xin and talked bout pretty in depth stuff.
When Xin finally arrived, we went to join them in the cinema.
The show was pretty funny, taught quite alot too.
But I don't think that the ethics of the movie can be applied to reality at the moment.
It was Macs after for a post-midnight snack before walking to Danny's.
Bev was really out of it but I didn't know how to comfort her so we just left her alone.
The 12 of us camped out at Danny's till morning before Joel, Xin, Bev and I made a run for the mrt station under heavy rain and got drenched.
Came back home, fell asleep before 8 and got up at 4pm.

I logged into Maple at Danny's to transport my character.
I know I shouldn't. I know I shouldn't have but I did.
I did and it hurt.
Perhaps its my hormones playing the part in amplifying the pain?
I sure hope so, shit like this always happens when it comes.
When she pmed me on maple, my god you should've seen how happy I was.
When we talked, I couldn't stop grinning even though I was in a roomful of people.
When she mentioned that she would've disbanded her guild today had she had the money, you should've seen the worry and concern for her etched on my forehead.
When I went to forums to put my weapon up for sale and I read the guild threads at the same time, you should've seen the blade that cut into my heart again and again and again.
Can you say "Ouch"?
How I wish I could just snap my fingers, and forget everything that ever happened or treat it as if it meant little to me.
My teacher once read my palm and told me I was loyal, I think I'm just stupid.
When will I wake up? The dream's already over.

Faith Hill - Let Me Let Go

I thought it was over, baby
We said our goodbyes
But I can't go a day
Without your face
Going through my mind

In fact, not a single minute
Passes without you in it
Your voice, your touch
Memories of your love
Are with me all of the time

Let me let go, baby
Let me let go
If this is for the best
Why are you still in my heart
Are you still in my soul
Let me let go

I talked to you the other day
Looks like you made your escape
You put us behind
No matter how i try
I can't do the same

Let me let go, baby
Let me let go
It just isn't right
I've been two thousand miles
Down a dead-end road
Let me let go

Let me let go, darlin', won't you
I just gotta know
If this is for the best
Why are you still in my heart
Are you still in my soul
Let me let go

The lights of this strange city are shining
But they don't hold no fascination for me
I try to find the bright side baby
But everywhere I look
Everywhere I turn
You're all I see

Let me
Let me let go, baby won't you
Let me let go
It just isn't right
I've been two thousand miles
Down a dead-end road

Oh let me let go, darlin', won't you
I just gotta know
If this is for the best
Why are you still in my heart
You're still in my soul
Let me let go, why don't you
Let me let go
Let me let go

2007-09-15T12:17:00.000+08:00

Waiting for lunch to be cooked then gonna go eat and head out the house.
Hope I'm not late for the 1.30pm appointment.
I didn't wait for Rae, went to sleep at 2.30am. She msned me at 3.30am saying she was gonna ask me to clock with Fen and herself. *Shrugs* She's on 'away' mode sleeping now. Miss her.
Lina(Nycki)'s favourite song.
Big Brovaz - Baby Boy

From the day that I saw you, I knew that we would pursue
Cause the chemistry we felt that day
Felt so real, and so true
Looking back on a year we spent together
How it’s been, what we went through
Although we’ve had our little ups and downs
We’ve still pulled through

Baby girl you’re my world my everything
I wanna lace you with diamonds and every ring
Give you everything you dream and fantasize
Cause you can tell me that you love me
Looking in my eyes
You keep it real with me, I keep it real with you
You keep on loving me, I’ll keep on loving you
Keep doing what you do, I feel your whole aura
And I can’t wait to hook up again tomorrow baby - what

My love for you will never end
You’ll always be a part of me
As long as time keeps on passing by
You’ll always be my baby boy.

Everytime I look at you,
I can’t believe I’ve found a love so true (and)
I took my time to put my trust in you
I must admit it was so hard to do
And every minute that I spend with you
You make me believe I have nothing to loose and
Deep down I always knew that you would be mine

Do you believe in destiny
Because I got a funny feeling this was meant to be
Without you I’d be lost, I need you next to me
Preferably in the house full of luxuries and little kids
From day one I was sprung, knew you was gonna be one
Cause my heart spoke for the very first time in a long while
And every time you smile, I can see us walking up the aisle with you
carrying my child C’mon

My love for you will never end
You’ll always be a part of me
As long as time keeps on passing by
You’ll always be my baby boy.

If you were to go, I don’t know
You’re the only one who sweeps me off my feet
Makes my soul go weak
The only one who makes my heart wanna beat and I,
I could never live without you
You know that what I feel has to be true
Cause you’re my, my sweet love

Ever since the first time, that I looked into your eyes
I knew that you waz gonna be mine
Feeling you from the inside, when you’re not by my side
You’re the only girl that’s on my mind
I never knew a love like this, a love so strong
A vision so picture perfect it could never be wrong
Along the way, you’re gonna see you belong with Jay
I might have to marry you one day baby eh

My love for you will never end
You’ll always be a part of me
As long as time keeps on passing by
You’ll always be my baby boy.
My love for you will never end
You’ll always be a part of me
As long as time keeps on passing by
You’ll always be my baby boy.

2007-09-15T01:00:00.000+08:00

Its 1.02am in the morning.
Got back from towning with Sze, Ant and Lena.
Met Lena at Suntec, then Ant came and we walked one entire round round Suntec's basement before deciding on New York, New York at Citylink for dinner.
Had 'Brats with bacon and cheese' for dinner.
We kept sharing and tasting each other's dishes, Ant had 'Big! Big! Breakfast' for dinner!!
rofl.
We found out that my brats went well with the cabonaras Lena and Sze were having so I traded my brats for their pastas.
After dinner we just sat, talked, laughed and crapped.
Then I took the bus to Serangoon with Ant and switched bus to head home.
Pretty tired now but I'm waiting for the other half of The Da Vinci Code to load so I can finish watching it.

Its nice meeting up and hanging out again.
Looking forward to doing it again tomorrow(technically today)!
Ant, wear the vest tomorrow(technically later) and what's that show I was supposed to watch on youtube again?
Lena, send me whatever song that you wanted to send me.
I enjoyed today, partially cause Rae and I talked, joked and laughed alot. It really felt like old times, and old times were good. She's online now for zak. Dunno if I should wait for her to come back on msn to chat or not.
Ink stained fingers promise everything, and nothing,
And therein lies the story.
Its no easy sentiment, a conscious effort, to save the last

I love you just the way you are,
So don't give up just yet,
And I know its hard,
When its so hard, when its so hard
Forgive me, forgive me

Ink stained fingers promise everything, and nothing,
And therein lies the story.
Its no easy sentiment, a conscious effort, to save the last

I love you just the way you are,
So don't give up just yet,
And I know its hard,
When its so hard, when its so hard,
Its easy to be the quitter

Don't give up,
So don't give up

2007-09-12T13:55:00.000+08:00

Hmm, its not so painful this time round talking to you.
My cheehin's right, you just don't want to lose me as a friend.
But I'm sorry, I can't go back while you're with him even though you said it was all business.
I still miss you.

Spent the better part of yesterday in school for FYP labwork yet again.
10am till 3.30pm.
Then I took 966 from Woodlands interchange all the way to Marine Parade to meet Sze and Min at Sze's place.
Then the three of us brought little Forrest down to walk from Sze's to Kenny Rogers.
Forrest is still really cute even though he's grown quite a bit.
We had Kenny Rogers (mashed potatoes, chicken, mac&cheese) before heading to Gelare (waffles, maple syrup, ice cream) for half price waffle day.
It was already dark before we decided to walk back to Sze's place.
Poor Forrest was so tired out that at some points, he sat down and refused to budge.
So cute la he.
Finally got back to Sze's, watch the last bit of the Mighty Ducks on Disney Channel, then min and I took 43 home.
After the Mighty Ducks was Hannah Montanna.
I need to watch that. ._.
I think I fell asleep in the bus with my mouth open.
So embarrassing.

Old problem or new problem?
Somehow I'm afraid of the answer cause I'll lose both ways.
Its just a matter of which loss hurts more.

From First To Last - Secrets Don't Make Friends

This place is a bloodbath
And won't be taken alive
We stand alone
Under fictitious skies

You were always my enemy and carefully crafted my demise
Our hearts beat strong under fictitious skies
You were always my enemy, suck the life out of me
Your words are deadly weapons
Killing me, destroying me
Your words are deadly weapons
Scatter my brains across the wall

You were my compass
Leading me to nowhere fast
Promises were lonely roads
I followed you down like a map

You were always my enemy and carefully crafted my demise
Our hearts beat strong under fictitious skies
You were always my enemy, suck the life out of me
Your words are deadly weapons
Killing me, destroying me
Your words are deadly weapons
Scatter my brains across the wall

Fuck you
Secrets don't make friends
Secrets don't make friends
Secrets don't make friends
Secrets don't make

Your words are deadly weapons
Killing me, destroying me

Your words are deadly weapons
Killing me, destroying me
Your words are deadly weapons
Scatter my brains across the wall

Secrets don't make friends
Secrets don't make friends
Secrets don't make friends
Secrets don't make friends

2007-09-10T11:28:00.000+08:00

So I finally fell asleep around 5am on Saturday morning after watching Ratatouille.
Its a pretty good show and the rat's pretty adorable.
Came online around 1pm on Sat and chatted with Josh.
Asked him along and we both met Guin, Xiang, Will, Fen, Jac, Boye, Dandan and Gigi at Plaza Sing at 2.30pm.
Bev, Danny and Jolvin came soon after and we headed to Swensens so they could have lunch.
Xin came halfway through lunch and I was trying to solve Bev's Rubik's 3x3 cube.
At least I managed to get more than halfway through before giving up.
We had ice cream cake to comemmerate Fen's 13th birthday and then went down to the arcade at Dhoby mrt to say hi to Norad and Josh.
The guys ended up playing KOF so I went to walk around Plaza Sing with Bev, Fen, Jac, Xin and Dandan.
Met up with the rest when they were done KOFing and stood around for a long time outside Starbucks trying to decide where to go.
It was already 6.10pm when I had to go meet Janice for the Funeral For A Friend concert.
Bev came to Raffles Place with me where we got lost and ended up eating carrot cake and talking in some uluated place.
Jenny called me at 7+ saying that the opening acts were.. Opening.
So went walking, trying to find Far East Square on my own.
Ran into two guys who were also looking for Far East Square and eventually, the 3 of us made it there.
The FFAF concert was spectular.
Although we stood a little to the side, we still could see most of the stage.
I think I was the most hyper one compared Aaron, Geraldine and Janice.
There were a bunch of girls who were nuts la.
They were screaming "Streetcar!" and "We love you Gareth!" throughout the entire thing.
After the concert, we talked, walked and laughed all the way to Clark Quay mrt station where I took the train to Dhoby to catch up with Guin and the gang.
Jac, Fen, Xin, Dandan, Danny, Boye, Xiang, Guin, Will and I then headed to the usual Sun Plaza in Sembawang to watch 'Apartment 1303', some horror flick.
It was a stupid show really.
I was sitting in between Boye and Xin and kept sniggering, laughing and making jokes during the movie.
The plot sucked, effects weren't scary, make-up was lousy, and I even managed to make fun of the scariest parts of the movie.
Then we went to sit, talk and eat at Macs before walking to their houses.
En route, we got stopped by two cops who saw us jaywalk.
It was a pretty big group so they took our contacts and wrote down our IC numbers.
After that, we were free to go.
Xin and I went to Danny's and then we met Boye and headed to the basketball court to wait for the rest.
They took an awefully long time and we hall a ball of the time when they finally reached.
Played basketball till 6+am and then Xin and I headed for the mrt.
Took the mrt to Toa Payoh cause I wasn't tired, then took a bus all the way home.
Even though I got home at 8am, I only slept at 10am, after breakfast.
Got up at 7.30pm, watched Bruce Almighty, then went back to sleep at 10pm.
Fiona(fylx) woke me up at midnight and I couldn't fall back asleep until 3.30am, after reading.
Got up this morning at 10.20am after a really bizzare dream.
Body's all sore and aching from basketball.
Its now 12pm and I have FYP lab at 1pm.
Better head off now.

Funeral For A Friend - Streetcar

Hello?

And there's the rub,
And we can talk for a while,
But I have sweet nothings to say,
You don't want me anyway
You don't want me anyway
So why?
Why should I stay?

So goodbye to you and your life
Your new best friends
Your confidence
And I'll be here when you get home

Sitting half way
Away from nowhere,
Praying for lips to touch
Holding myself,
For a second
Just to catch you smile
On this ride.

So goodbye to you and your lies
Two months, eight weeks
Your new best friends
Your confidence
Turn my hours into days
And I'll be here when you get home
When you get home

So goodbye to you and your lies
Two months, eight weeks
Your new best friends
Your confidence
Turn my hours into days
And I'll be here when you get home
When you get home

I can't feel the same about you anymore
I can't feel the same about you anymore
I can't feel the same about you anymore
I can't feel the same about you anymore
I can't feel the same about you anymore
I can't feel the same about you anymore
I can't feel the same about you anymore
I can't feel the same about you anymore
I can't feel the same about you anymore
I can't feel the same about you anymore
I can't feel the same about you anymore
I can't feel the same about you anymore

It's just like you said
It would be
It's never easy
I can't feel this way about you anymore
It's just like you said
It would be
It's never easy
I can't feel the same
I can't feel this way
I can't feel the same about you anymore
Without you anymore
I can't feel this way
I can't feel the same about you anymore
Without you anymore
Without you anymore
It's never easy, without you anymore

2007-09-08T01:38:00.000+08:00

Its 1.40am in the morning and I've finally watched 'The Notebook'.
I remember Rebby talking about it in sec 4, saying how sweet it was.

Shows like these make you go, "So that's what love is."
And then those who are single start pondering about their own lives, hoping to have a fraction of what the characters in the movie have.
That connection, that spark.
The feeling's spectacular, indescribable, magical.
I felt it once.
Now its gone.
Rae, don't be sad and surprised that I still have feelings for you.
Its just who I am.
Honestly I've never been able to fully 100% let someone go.
I just store the feelings in a box and shelve them.
They're still there though, no matter how much I try to forget, no matter what distractions I may have.
I don't think I'll ever forget, even on my deathbed or whatever.
That's how much each one means to me.

2007-09-05T18:04:00.000+08:00

A clip from one of my favourite tv shows, Sue Thomas: F.B.Eye

Written by Michael W. Smith, recorded by Emilt Dragoman - Pray For Me

Here is where the road divides
Here is where we realize
The sculpting of the Father's great design
Thru' time you've been a friend to me
But time is now the enemy
I wish we didn't have to say goodbye
And I know that thru' it all
The hardest part of love is letting go
But there's a greater love that holds us

Pray for me and I'll pray for you
Pray that we will keep the common ground
Won't you pray for me and I'll pray for you
And one day love will bring us back around

Painted on a tapestry
We see the way it has to be
Weaving thru' the laughter and the tears
But love will be the tie that binds us
To the time we leave behind us
Memeories will be our souviniers

Won't you pray for me and I'll pray for you
Pray that we will keep the common ground
Won't you pray for me and I'll pray for you
And one day love will bring us back around
Again

2007-09-04T22:59:00.000+08:00

Saturday
Xiang, Guin and the guys called in the afternoon asking if they could dump the food at my place.
I told 'em okay but they called later cancelling.
So mum and I went down to the Comex convention at Suntec and I got a bunch of stuff.
80GB hard disk, creative headphones, a 1GB storage Zen Stone.
Mum then brought me to New York, New York at Citylink for a drink and a chance to rest our feet.
We talked about the US trip that she and dad had planned for us at the end of the year.
I only wish that some buddies could come along too, it'd be a hell lot more fun.
Was supposed to meet Xin, Sue and Jol at 6pm at Pasir Ris but I was still having my double chocolate shake at 5.50pm.
Smsed them to say I'd be late but it turned out that Xin'd be late too, and she was at City Hall but had to head home to change first.
Went down to Pasir Ris from City Hall and met Sue, Jol and Strstr at the mrt station where we waited for Xin.
She arrived shortly after and we went down to NTUC to buy snacks.
Xin overstuffed the shopping basket then we took a bus down to Downtown East where Dandan and her friend met us in Cheers.
The counter lady checked my IC when I bought ciggs.
Kinda humiliating. Do I really look that underaged?
So we walked down to the beachside bbq pit.
Before I could do anything, my cheehin Bev came running up to me and we started playing.
Maaaan I miss messing around with Bev. (:
Scandal Guin, Xiang, Will, Danny, Boye, Justin, Egg, Nick, Nick's gf Depfanie, Cheehin Bev, Xin, eskayJac, Fenny Fen, Eunice, Uncle SS, Auntie Lyndey, Fucker Sue, R0ti, Zoomx, Humper Dee, Jolvin, Joel, Daniel (hokage), Charcoal, Gigi and some others were there that night.
Gigi, Joel, Daniel, Charcoal, Fen, Jac, Xin, Danny, Boye, Will, Justin, Nick, Nick's gf Dapf, Bev, one more person and I stayed over.
Spent the earlier part of the night chatting and catching up with the guys I haven't seen in a long time.
We cut Guin's cute peach penguin cake and sang 'Happy Birthday' so loudly that people 10 pits away could hear us.

Sunday
Then past midnight, Guin's mom came and had a really open talk with the guys at the pit which involved my err, dress sense and sexual orientation.
It made me kinda uncomfortable, so I grabbed a Carlsberg and hightailed over to where Bev, Xin, Jac and Fen were sitting on a bench some distance away.
Sat and drank quite a bit with the 4 of them.
They all drank the beer I brought over, too lazy to get their own.
Drank about 3 cans?
The only thing I hate about drinking is that I have to visit the loo alot.
Thanks to those who kept going with me. =x
Stopped drinking when my vision couldn't keep up with the turning of my head.
But then again, we ran outta beer.
Xin and a stoned me decided to go back to bbqing.
My reactions were slightly slower but I was still pretty sane.
Xin, however, was abit off.
She almost burnt her hands on the grill while bbqing mushmellows.
And she kept saying "I'm not drunk" when all we accused her of being was high.
Rofl!
Charcoal, Joel and a few others came over to chat and bbq with us too.
Charcoal is like the bbq master, he cooked practically everything for us to eat.
After the parents left, they brought out the Martell.
I had like 2 drops of it and it bloody burnt my throat.
Gigi got seh after the Martell.
We bbqed till about 4am where it started drizzling.
I suggested we packed up and it started to pour just as we got our stuff together.
Left the food under the bqq pit, then headed for the nearby toilet for shelter.
Stood there for awhile before we decided to use the large mat we had to shelter ourselves and walk to the Macs at Downtown East so we could all sit properly.
They all got under the mat with the exception of Danny, Guin, Xin and I, and we all walked to Macs.
There wasn't anyplace to sit and Macs so the rest lounged around at the foyer while Danny and I scouted the place.
We found space at a closed coffee shop and sat playing 'Murderer' from 4+am till 6.30am.
Washed up and headed to White Sand's Macs for breakfast.
Danny was so nice, he bought me a Big Breakfast.
Parted ways at 7am.
I only had to be at Marina Square at 10.30am so I took the train with Joel, Fen and Jac to Boon Lay.
The three of them alighted one by one and I took the train back to Bugis before alighting at City Hall to meet Kwei Lin.
We then spent the entire day scooping Mango ice cream with added Omega-3 for the public and explaining how the projects SAS have done are good for people.
My shift was supposed to end at 2.30pm but I ended up staying till 6.30pm.
Was so shagged that I kept falling asleep whenever sat down and I got really irritable.
Poor Kwei Lin got scared of me I think, cause I told her not to disturb me and just sat there stoning and getting pissed.
Then headed home, showered, had dinner and fell asleep around 8+pm.

Yesterday, Monday
Woke up at 11am and met Ganma(Mrs Ng) and Min at Kovan's Pizza Hut for lunch.
Sat and ate and talked then Lyn came.
Talked somemore, relived some past memories, then headed to Hougang Mall for awhile before heading home.
I charged the Zen Stone up then headed to Plaza Sing to meet the LBV-tians, Ting, Ling, BangYong, Eno, D4rk, S0ul.
Sat and watched Ling play Audition for awhile at PcBunk then headed to Swensens where they had dinner.
I left before they ate and went to Cini to meet Ant and Jol for pool.
Fiona and her bf Alex came later then we just played pool till 9+.
Went down to the food court for fish soup, remet the LBV-tians, and headed home.

Today
Been on the computer the entire day, watching movies and defragging my com.
'Criminal Minds' is on now.
Shall go get my crime show fix for the week.
(:

Trying to sell off the Zen Stone.
Its not up to my expectations.

Zen Stone
Black Zen Stone, 1GB storage, comes with a grey Zen Stone skin.
It retails for $69 and the skin costs $15
Both the Stone and skin for $80 anyone? Its still brand new.

2007-08-31T23:38:00.000+08:00

I've been re-reading all my old blog entries this week.
Stopped at the end of last year.
Partially cause I'm afraid of what I'll read and remember from this year.
My wounds are still raw and will be ripped open again if I continue to read.

Looking forward to tomorrow's birthday bbq for my scandal Guin.
Hopefully I'll be staying over then heading down to Marina Square in the morning to make ice cream and chocolates for the public to eat.
Its some CE(creative engagement) thing we gotta do for school.
Then its off to the Comex convention at Suntec to buy hard disk and (pray hard)a new, smaller mp3 player.

Audrey, Steph, Tiang, Rebby, Niz, Pearlyn, Nycki, Rae

Here's a song/poem from December of last year
I woke up from this dream to find that I was sleeping
So I went back to sleep and I dreamed I was awake
I locked myself inside but you were on the outside
I stood outside and watched but I couldn't let you in

If only you could see that you that is a part of me
Maybe you could see inside yourself

Wrote a letter to myself, but I couldn't bear to send it
So I tore it up and wrote a letter to a friend

If only you could know that growing up means letting go
Maybe then you'd grow up by yourself

I'm growing up again
I'm learning to accept
That all good things must come to an end
I'm growing up again
I'm trying to understand what it's like
To let go of a friend

2007-08-31T00:28:00.000+08:00

Scratch the sleeping at 10pm thing.
Its 1am now.
Ended up watching DOA with dad.
Stupid show really, the only good thing's the fight scenes and the hot chicks.
Sarah Carter and Holly Valance are so drool-worthy.

PP time.

Marianas Trench - Alive Again

I felt it turn to come and go,
Don't worry no one ever knows,
I don't know why it just won't die,
It breaks me in to stay alive

I know it hurt a lot like you,
C'mon I know that you felt it too,
It hurts the same and that's ok,
I never liked him anyway

I know, I know, I know, I
It seems so long since I've been gone,
I got so used to just hanging on,
I feel so wrong I don't belong,
I got so used to just hanging on

I'm used to starting out instead,
It's easier than faking it,
Sometimes it hurts but that's no worse,
Than all those times, I guess it works

I know they walked away with a piece of me,
The more I know that I won't go
The more I bruise from laying low

I know, I know, I know, I
It seems so long since I've been gone,
I got so used to just hanging on,
I feel so wrong, I don't belong,
and I know and I know and I know

I walk around like I'm alive again
But I know it's just not the same,
And I walk around like I'm alive again

Shut up

Shut up, shut up

And I walk around like I'm alive again
but I know it's just not the same,
And I walk around like I'm alive again,
I know it's not the same

I broke it all

I'm sorry, I broke it, I broke it all
I'm sorry, I broke it all
I'm sorry, I broke it, I broke it all

(I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry)
(I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry)
I don't know why it just won't die
I'm sorry, I broke it, I broke it all

I don't know why it just won't die
I'm sorry, I broke it, I broke it all

I don't know why it just won't die
I'm sorry, I broke it, I broke it all,
And I'm fading

2007-08-30T21:42:00.000+08:00

Monday
Ended up downloading movies and Kyle XY the tv series and watching them instead of doing my PP.
Watched a ton of movies in the afternoon.
Then went for the W36Q chalet/bbq at Pasir Ris.
Stayed a couple of hours, didn't eat anything, but we still gotta pay.
I'm so broke now please.
Came home and tried to do abit more of my PP before watching more movies and sleeping late.

Tuesday
Woke up, had lunch, went to school for a discussion.
Then went to Gardens to get my $28 hair wax before heading home and watching more crap on my laptop.

Wednesday
No meetings, was supposed to play basketball but it rained in the morning so that put a damper on my plans.
Downloaded and watched more Kyle XY and movies.

Thursday
Just back from Gardens with Lyn, Min, Sze, Safy, John and Kelda.
Had chicken wings half sponsored by Min. (Yes I'm that poor)
Dean is so smart, he called me earlier and went "AH-HA! YOU HAVEN'T DONE YOUR PP RIGHT?"
On Sunday, I told Dean I was gonna finish my PP on Monday then he said "You sure drag until Friday one."
Clever Dean.

I've got $20 exactly in my wallet.
I need $15 for this Sat's bbq.
$5 will have to last me till the middle of next month where I will get $100 to spread out for September.
Man, wish I could just sleep and wake up when September ends, like that song.
It'll save me a hell lotta money.

Lets see what I spent the $200 my parents advanced me on.
$28 for hair wax
$80 on clothes
$20 to top up my ez-link.
$52 to get bus concession
Total = $180
Wow, I really have exactly $20 left.
Fuck.

I'm so tired now that I'm gonna sleep even though its only 10pm.

It only hurt a bit
I still feel like shit
And I think you won't be able to recognize me now
It's easier to quit
Harder to admit and
You're pushin me, you're fucking pushin me

Feeling so easy
Make me skin and bones
I'm always on my knees for you
You break like it's even
When you're faking it
Thin, where have you been

2007-08-27T04:05:00.001+08:00

Its only 4am and already I've got the Monday blues.
Gonna get my bloody PP done when I wake up.

Well, I never saw it coming, I should've started running, a long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you, more than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure, I guess it's really over, I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces, I'm spending all of these years. putting my heart back together. Cause the day I thought I'd never get though, I got over you.

Bedtime with my blisters now or I'll never get to sleep.
I need some pick-me-up music.

2007-08-26T19:10:00.000+08:00

Its gonna be a busy week next week.
Monday - Finshing my Professional Profile 2000-word report on HRSS and class BBQ.
Tuesday - Final Year Project
Wednesday - Final Year Project
Thursday - Final Year Project
Friday - Either FCC or basketball, and marinating chicken wings
Saturday - Guin's BBQ
Furthermore, I need to find some time this week to bring Woody and Landy to see Dr Heng at The Joyous Vet at Chua Chu Kang.
They haven't been eating well and Woody's been really short tempered.
I've also got to think of a surprise for Guin as well as what to get her for her birthday.
Damn FYP.

Anyway, a recap on this past week.

Wednesday
Got up early early and played some basketball nearby.
Not bad, I can still shoot. (:

Thursday
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY JANICE-JENNYWONG-MOUSE-39YEAROLDPRETENDINGTOBE19-ONG!
Was supposed to wish her at 2359hours but I forgot and overshot. ><
Catching up with the rest of us now eh? (:
It was supposed to be the last day of school but my aching body would not get outta bed in the morning so I slept in.
Rae spoke to me the moment I got on msn which kinda made and broke my day all at once.
Watched movies online and read the rest of the day away.
Met Min, Lyn and Aloy at Compass for cheesefries at KFC and a walk-around before heading back home.
Oh, y'know, Hairspray is uploaded on youtube.com, the entire movie.
And its pretty good, even though I watched it at like 3am on Friday morning, it still made me feel like dancing.

Went out on Friday to Queensway with Anthea.
I spent about 80 bucks on clothes which I'm pretty happy with, especially my nice blue kiddish looking shirt and a new Atticus t-shirt.
Ant spent bout a hundred plus bucks but she got a nice little vest, very cool.
Then we got on a bus to Plaza Sing and walked around abit before settling down for some cheesecake plus ant at Secret Recipe.
All wiped out, we headed home.
Didn't find the hair wax I wanted at Compass so I biked down to Hougang to see if any of the shops there sold it, but didn't see squak.
Biked home, watched some tv, then fell asleep.

Saturday
Got up around 11am, smsed Guin and met up with her, Danny, Boye, Justin, Gigi, Xiang and Will at City Hall.
Headed down to IRC's Burger King for brunch where Dandan and Xin joined us.
Played CS until they asked me to log into Gigi's account to help them clock.
I did la.. But when I saw that slut talking in buddy list I couldn't take it so I blocked him. (:
Boye died during clock so I used my own character to clock with 'em during the second round.
I dunno what's up with Rae but she's the reason I don't log in anymore.
I tend to think too much on a simple sentence she says. Best not to think right?
Anyway, its what's best for her.
After clock, I went straight back to Counter-Strike to distract myself.
Then it was pooling at Cini before having dinner at the food court there and taking the train to Marina Bay and then to Sembawang to catch a movie.
Danny tried to trick Xin and me into watching some Indonesian horror show claiming he only knew the movie title but not what it meant.
Luckly we had the good sense not to give him our 10 bucks to purchase the tickets.
The title of the movie turned out to be "Crawling Nurse" LOL
Stood my ground and said I wouldn't watch it so eventually they gave in and we went to watch Evan Almighty even though Xin watched it before.
We had an hour to spare before the movie started so we all headed down to a nearby playground to lie around and emo.
Movie was pretty funny though it was only an hour and a half long.
Headed to Will's place to borrow basketball shorts and get the basketball, then we headed to a nearby, dark court to play night-hoops.
Played barefoot and we couldn't see much for nuts and we kept scaring ourselves by looking out for people and sounds.
Played till I had blisters on both feet, then sat down and watched the guys fight it out two-on-two.
When we decided to pack up and leave for drinks however, the lights came on and we were swearing and saying how we'd only come out and play at 4am the next time.
Headed to a kopi tiam and I had a little pre-breakfast breakfast before slacking at yet another playground till 5.30am when Xin and I walked to the mrt and headed home.
Finally fell asleep at 7am, blisters and all.

Just got up an hour ago at 6pm.
People have been asking me if I'll go back to playing Maple again since they say the 4th job maps are coming out next week or so.
Although I appreciate that they miss me and all, I miss them too, but I just don't think I can carry on in that game.
I know that when I login, should certain individuals be online, my frustration and jealousy will kick in and spoil my day as well as hers should she find out about it.
Furthermore, even if they're not online, everywhere I go, there're memories and hopes and wishes and dreams.
I can't put it all behind me and continue to act like I'm happy and everything's okay.
I don't know what Rae is trying to pull either when she said something about refraining from asking if I missed her on buddy list when a mutual friend of ours asked if I missed her.
Honestly, I didn't know what to say after she said that, so I just kept mum.
Perhaps that's one of the reasons I don't log in now.
Let's use an analogy to try to explain what I'm going through.

Imagine that there's an accident out at sea, a man is missing.
His wife is at home, she knows that he's missing, but still clings on to the hope that he's not dead.
In the morning, she wakes up, heads to the kitchen to make coffee, and unconsciously makes two mugs.
Then she starts, realises that her husband is no longer with her, and with her heart breaking, pours one mug away.

If you don't get this analogy, watch the music video and maybe you'll understand how painful it is for that woman, and for me.
I cried watching the video, understanding the pain that was amplified.

Funeral For A Friend - Walk Away

All the words that we have to say
They don't leave
When the moment comes we know we have to wait
As the days go on and the places fade away
Into dirt, into dust, it all fades away

And the waiting is the hardest thing to take
A moment more before we break

If you have to let it go
And these dreams keep you awake
If you have to let it go
Walk away

And the shapes we want to see
Don't leave
Another piece that this puzzle needs

And the waiting is the hardest thing to take
A moment more before we break

If you have to let it go
And these dreams keep you awake
If you have to let it go
Walk away

And the waiting is the hardest thing to take
A moment more before we break

If you have to let it go
And these dreams keep you awake
If you have to let it go
Walk away

If you have to let it go
And these dreams keep you awake
If you have to let it go
Walk away (Walk away)

If you have to let it go
And these dreams keep you awake
If you have to let go
Walk away (Walk away)

2007-08-20T22:02:00.000+08:00

Yellowcard - Empty Apartment

Call me out, you stayed inside
One you love is where you hide
Shot me down as I flew by
Crash and burn, I think sometimes
You forget where the heart is

Answer no to these questions
Let her go, learn a lesson
It's not me, you're not listening now
Can't you see, something's missing
You forget where the heart is

Take you away, from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday, if ever you love me you'd say it's okay

Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life, what's it like there
Is it all what you want it to be
Does it hurt, when you think about me
And how broken my heart is

Take you away, from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday, if ever you love me you'd say it's okay

It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

Take you away, from that empty apartment
You stay, and forget where the heart is
Someday, if ever you love me you'd say its okay
It's okay
It's okay

So the dig is that they're not married yet, but they're gonna be sometime soon.
*Shrugs*
Like the song goes, "It only gets harder the more that you know".

There was no FCC meeting on Friday due to everyone having their own plans.
Can't seem to remember what I did though, think I ended up watching tv and/or reading.
Woke up early on Saturday to meet Feli, Lena, and Janice to head back to SJC.
SJC was having some carnival cum family day thing so I thought it'd be nice to head back for a visit after all this time.
Everyone was late, like fucking late late.
Ended up waiting for years for the rest who brought their other halves.
Walked around school reliving memories and moments in our lives that I hope we'll never forget.
Had lunch with them at Compass's McDonalds before heading down to cini to meet a bunch of people.
Guin, Xiang, Boye, Will, Danny, Xin, Gigi, Jolvin, Charcoal were playing pool when I got there.
Everyone was trying to convince Xin to skip dinner with her teammates and head out to steamboat with us.
In the end, everyone accompanied her to Eunos to pass her bag to a friend before heading out to dinner at Bugis.
Nic, Nic's girlfriend and Joel(neo) joined us for dinner at some steamboat place opposite Bugis.
Xin and I heard something loud towards the end of dinner and rushed outside hoping to catach a glimpse of some fireworks.
Alas, we were too late. -__-
After that we went to Sembawang to catch Dead Silence which sucked horribly.
Although some parts made me squirm and cover my eyes, on the whole, it wasn't scary and not worth $9.50.
We then headed to Will's house to collect his laptop and see his bunny before heading to Danny's where we played computer games and they played maple all night.
I was so stoned that when it was time to head home, I was almost asleep.

Staggered into bed around 7+am and slept till 2+pm.
Went to meet mum and dad at Compass and went for a facial.
The massage chairs sucked.
They were so uncomfortable that I couldn't sleep even though I was wiped.
Then we went to Jalan Kayu's Mad Jack's for dinner where I had steak.
Home sweet home, America's Got Talent, and bed.

Today's class was the best one by far.
We were heading down to Tuas to check out Asia Pacific Breweries and how the company produced beers.
There was a jam on the highway which blocked 3 of the 4 lanes.
We saw the wreck, it was horrible.
The driver's side of the truck was totally smashed and we were wondering if the driver made it out alive.
Our bus was stuck in it for more than an hour and by the time we got there, we were so moodless.
But we got a hot young tour guide named Madeline who showed us around and then ushered us into the bar for our free flow of beers and nuts after the tour.
I had a mug of Tiger, a mug of Heineken and about 3/4 mug of Kilkenny before I got blur and stopped.
My classmate Kuei Lin and I discovered that beer tastes surprisingly better when mixed with Sprite.
Mad said she'd try some once she knocked off work.
No drinking on duty.
Marline was the worst, she drank a mug and got so stone drunk that she puked when we got back to school.
Ashley let us off around 1pm due to all of us being a little lightheaded and not in the mood for lessons.
I came home and crashed till 5pm cause I had a headache from the busride to Tuas.

Friday FCC anyone? ><

2007-08-17T14:36:00.000+08:00

I heard something about him and her getting married yesterday with 2 other couples that are friends of mine.
Ain't it sweet?
No confirmation though.
I expected it yet I didn't wanna believe myself.
What a fool I am.
Part of me wants to know, and another part feels that ignorance is bliss.

Swirl 360 - Love Should Be A Crime

Words like love and happiness
They don't seem to stand up baby
When you put em to the test
You say that you're a poet
That your life's a work of art
But you can't
Paint love by numbers, babe
You gotta play it all by heart

Baby, baby, baby, baby
It happens all the time
How you play me, play me, play me
You're playing with my mind

Baby, baby, baby, baby
You're making me go crazy
And if you call that love then
Love should be a crime

Honesty bites the dust
Every time I hear you saying
That love is never lust, yeah
Did you read that in a book
Did you see it in a magazine
Did you think that I'm some new age fool
Did you think I'm so naive

Baby, baby, baby, baby
It happens all the time
How you play me, play me, play me
You're playing with my mind

Baby, baby, baby, baby
You're making me go crazy
And if you call that love then
Love should be a crime

You and me
Suddenly
We got nothing to say
Because the words get in the way

Baby, baby, baby, baby
It happens all the time
How you play me, play me, play me
Playing with my mind

Baby, baby, baby, baby
You're making me go crazy
And if you call that love then
All it was
Was a pocket full of nothing
But a suicidal gun
And if you call that love then
Love should be a
Crime

2007-08-14T08:55:00.000+08:00

I saw it coming from 2 months ago.
Now its finally come, its time for me to go.
No point staying just to get my eyes sore.
I'm sick of all this.
I trusted you, guess I trusted wrong.
All I'm left with is a sunburn and a broken heart.
And memories that were once sweet.

My friends tried to tell me all along
That you werent the right one for me
My friends tried to tell me to be strong
I bet you didnt think that I would see

The postcard that you wrote
With the stupid little note
Something wasn't quite right about it
I wanna see you cry
Like I did a thousand times
Now you're losing me, you're losing me now
Because you wrote

"I wish you were her"
You left out the 'E'
You left without me
And now you're somewhere out there
With a bitch, slut, psycho babe
I hate you, why are guys so lame
Everything I gave you I want everything back but you

2007-08-13T09:01:00.000+08:00

12/37am her:
here's wishing all the very best to all Nagaians who are having exams/trial exams this few weeks!
i myself will be in semi-hibernation mode for the next 10 days - having semester finals -_-
i will come on9 evenings to see how everyone is doing, perhaps sneak a visit to mr moo moo and ulitize at least 2-3 hrs of my 2x =P

ok dat's it for today, packing my nightpack and waiting for someone to come pick me up to the farm~ mwuarks <3

1.05am him:
going to fetch mrs moo moo~ must make her relax enuff so tt she wont feel so stressed for exams >,< after army, uni time...sian..hope to enjoy all the time with my fellow guildmates and loved one<= no (s). F3. ok nights~ packing up my olive oils and bath salts. Hot tub and nice rub ahead! XD

as long as im in the right; i will always stand upright; and if i must- fight,
so i write,
for the honour to hold u snug and tight; by my side,
sneaking in a love bite.

I just got back from the toilet after crying my eyes out.
My right hand hurts from beating the wall.
But it doesn't hurt enough to drown out the pain.
I want to break my hand so I won't feel anything else.
I can't describe how I'm feeling now.
I can't focus or concentrate on anything else.
Its only 9am and I'm in school.
I want to go home because I can't cry in class.
Oh god can this really be happening to me?
Has everything she's been telling me just been said to butter me up so it won't hurt so bad when this happens?
Well it didn't work.
I'm trying not to cry again typing this.
A part of me knew that this would happen, but it doesn't seem to brace me for the impact of the actual thing.
Another part of me kept my hope alive, and is still keeping my hope alive.
What for? You ask me.
What for? After all this, why are you still holding on?
I don't know, I don't know.
I want to quit, leave for good.
Then I want to stay, cause I still hope there's a chance.
I keep going back to the page and re-reading the posts.
I just can't believe it.
Feels like the disbelief I felt when she divorced me.
But the pain.. I thought I could never hurt this bad again, and so soon.
And the ring, was she just waiting for it to expire?
It expires tomorrow after 1.30pm.
I was just thinking last night about sending her another one, and telling her she doesn't have to take it out of cs or use it or anything.
The memory, is painful.
Biting back tears is hard.
I saw it coming, a part of me saw this.
But a part of me can't believe it.
I still can't believe it.

Going to meet Sze now to head down to East Coast.

2007-08-10T15:16:00.000+08:00

My very weird conversation with my ex maple girlfriend. o_o
Its nice to get the chance to speak to her in private.

her: yoyoz long time no see
me: err, you must be mistaken, i've never seen you before in my life.. *grins*
her: lol u noe wad i mean la
me: i was online the day before ma.. o.o
her: ya i noe
her: o.o
her: still not used to ur "offline" status ma f3
me:lol.. how come?
her: lol coz last time u oso owez on like...until very late lor
me: priorities change i guess =/
her: happy to noe that ^_^
...
her: vic and xy got 2gether f3 as in maple
me: finally!!!!
me: wedding soon?
her: lols, dunno
her: i oni noticed their rings ytd
her: it's either the berserk effect comes on, or the heart effect
me: lol!!
me: maybe they're trying to keep it hush hush for the time being
me: i teased xy endlessly about vic the last time i logged in
her: hush hush?? with the terms of endearment in guild? f3
her: somemore owez train and hunt boss together f3
her: well, perhaps hush the fact that they got together?
her: lols
her: ah bee and xigua oso
her: >.<
me: haha.. we need to get you one too?
her: for?
her: later say i keep train nvr pei f3
me: for company? about the training thing... =x
her: LoLoL
her: erm..my training buds = enuff company?
me: *shrugs* if you say so
her: oh come on..u noe me
her: training takes precedence over everything else?
me: mmhmm.. but i also know how good it feels to have someone there for you
me: makes a distinct difference in gaming pleasure
her: -.-" ok ok
her: did i ruin ur gaming experience? f7
me: *shrugs*
her: -.- rings expiring soon le, planning to enjoy the berserk effect while it lasts?
me: kinda trying to aviod thinking bout that day..
her: oops, my bad
me: no everlasting harm done
her: >.<

Everyone's telling me to forget it.
But,
I'm so not over her.

Anyway, quick update about my days.

Met Safy, John, Lyn, Aloy, Min and Sze on Monday night for late dinner to catch up and talk about the bbq that they/we're planning for this coming Sunday. Just got word that there're alot of other people coming.. =X

Tuesday was spent at home though I was supposed to be in school. Went to meet Sze and Sze's mum to help them check out a laptop they were intending to buy as well as check out the Giant, Courts and IKEA all at once. Sze's mum left around 6 plus then Sze and I ended up at Courts playing Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix and Rayman on the Xbox 360s there before heading to Giant for grocery shopping.

Wednesday was spent at home though I was supposed to go beaching with Sze cause she had tution. Stayed home and watched Martha Stewart and movies. Rae spoke to me on Tuesday in msn and told me "dun forget to come in and catch up on MAPLE social life f3". So I logged in at night to go wild for a bit and settle zakum matters for this Saturday.

Yesterday was National Day, spent it with mummy and daddy and sis visiting the grandparents. Dropped by Tamp's IKEA where I finally got my meatballs that I've been craving for since Tuesday. Then we headed home to watch the National Day Parade on tv. Granted, I've got some issues about the way this country is run, but I still love my home.

Couldn't sleep last night so I turned on my computer and transported my charcter so I won't have to log in today. Ended up talking with Josh, Shan, Zack and Miho on the phone till 3+am. Fell asleep eventually and somehow managed to drag my ass to classes today where I contributed 0% to lessons.

I love Avril Lavigne and Ashlee Simpson. WOOHOO!

2007-08-06T14:15:00.000+08:00

Friday was pon-school and Baybeats day.
I hadn't been sleeping well since Tuesday so a pretty pooped me wasn't able to get up on Friday morning for class. Gave myself the day off and met Sze in the afternoon to buy myself a new belt from Far East. The belt seemed more expensive than the last time I bought it, $35 now. Then we headed down to Suntec early cause Sze hated crowded buses. Went Carefour shopping and we each bought two pairs of socks and sat down at a cafe where I had some pwnish hot chocolate and Sze had oh-so-yummy cheesecake.
Feli, Alvin, Lena, Colin, Janice, Aaron, Sze's sister and Sze's sister's friend came later on. Sze's sister and the friend headed down to the Esplanade first while we had dinner at Pepper Lunch(Fine its not all peppery). Then we strolled down to Esplanade and only managed to catch Caracal's last song. -_- What a waste. We kept walking back and forth between the two stages to see which was "more happening" according to Jenny. Got pretty dull pretty quick though, and we settled down at Glutton's Square for supper of Lena's doughnuts and chicken wings for me. Caught one of the late trains home and then cycled down to Hougang to pass Rene her laptop. It was 12.30am by the time I biked home and 4am by the time I fell asleep reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Saturday was HRSS and Baybeats-again day.
Got woken up at 9am, dragged myself outta bed and brought Ben and Jerry down to the event at Youth Park. Ended up being the DJ for the day cause they were using my laptop's music for the day. Had fun bumming around and DJing with Teeny, who was MC-ing. Helped them pack up then met Sheila, Boye, Xiang, Danny, Joel, Xin, Hokage, Jolvin for a quick dinner before catching a cab down to the Esplanade again to watch A Vacant Affair who were supposed to be playing at 8. When I got there around 8.10pm though, there wasn't anyone playing so I headed to the other stage and listened to another band. When they ended, headed back to the previous stage and AVA were up and jamming. Enjoyed myself though I was watching alone. They played 8.30pm - 9pm. After they were done, I walked to Harry's where I met Lena and Colin and Yvette. We went in and had a drink plus some nuts. My Blue Hawaiian wasn't as blue as I thought it'd be and it wasn't that good. Then we went to watch some band perform, after which, we stayed on to watch Blindside. We managed to get to the front and stood there waiting for 45 minutes till Blindside came on. Thereafter, it was just a huge party of people jumping around and squeezing and shoving and elbowing one another. Colin and I were standing behind Yvette and Lena so most of the time, had either Colin's shoulder or Yvette's hair in my face. Got elbowed a hell lot as well as some ass on my head while they were carrying the fella around. By the time Blindside ended their session, we were all sweaty and sticky and tired and grinning. It was one hell of an experience. Cabbed home with Yvette cause it was way past midnight already. Didn't fall straight asleep though, stayed up till 4am again to finish the Potter book, then I fell asleep.

Sunday was stay-awake-for-5-hours day.
Woke up at 1pm and decided to go back to sleep. Finally got out of bed at 5pm and had lunch and watched tv till 9.30pm. Spent some time with my rabbits then went to sleep at 10-ish. Think I tossed and turned till about 12 plus before falling asleep properly. Emoed abit in bed. =/

Today is another-blue-Monday-in-school day.
Lab Management class today, followed by a Genomics Understanding Test later at 4pm. Haven't studied yet though, shall look through notes in a little while, its 3pm now. There wasn't any aircon on today in class so we migrated to the library for awhile till the aircon came back on. Body's still sore from Saturday though. Need to build up more muscle mass before next month's concert.

Gotta start saving money for next month's Funeral For A Friend concert. Forking out $90 for 2 hours of them. ._.
Made a list of stuff I wanna buy as well:
- New jeans
- Hard disk
- An Atticus belt
- An Atticus jacket
- More shirts
- Converse chucks
- Sony headphones
- A new bag

2007-08-02T15:13:00.000+08:00

Its 3pm now. Had one of those bare-your-heart-and-soul talks with her. Feeling better now, surprisingly. I hate her, cause its so easy for me to just open up to her about everything. Really, everything.

Don't think I'm gonna go look at the new maple maps anytime soon. It'll just make me sad that I'll be going alone.

2007-08-02T04:01:00.000+08:00

Zomg its 4am. ._.

2007-08-02T03:01:00.001+08:00

It is now 3am and I have classes at 8.30am and a test at 4pm later on. Not to mention I gotta find a new place to zak cause the person I relied on for a zakkable computer and connection is taking a break from maple. It never rains but it pours eh?

Horny let me listen to his emo classical song, Clair de lune. Granted, my eyelids started getting heavier after like 15 seconds of the song, but its pretty good on the whole lah. Its a pretty famous piece too if I'm not wrong. Horny also told me how he googled and found my blog. ._. That's just stalker-ishly freaky.

Gonna watch some High School Musical 2 vids on youtube, then finish up my Yakult and try to get some shuteye. I really ought to stop making it a habit of thinking about emo things just when I'm about to fall asleep.

Now that it's all said and done
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up then tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
And what you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of me

2007-08-01T00:17:00.000+08:00

So I'm running out of things to do, and I've gotten back to thinking about her.
It would've been our 3rd month on the Saturday that just passed, 28th July. I logged in, went exploring every map that we've been to, cried at some significant ones, cried abit more when she logged in. All in all, I'd say it was a good day?

I was just thinking whether to ask her if she's really happier now, like this, the way things are. Cause I guess if she is, it'd be a little easier to let her go wouldn't it? Granted, it'll hurt like hell and I'll probably spend some quality time with a lot of tissue, but all I've ever wanted was for her to be happy. I'm not saying that I'll let go of her 100% if (and most probably when) she says yes, cause I'll still worry bout her and her health and stuff, but I think it'd help a little, wouldn't it? Knowing that she's happier. I don't know. I asked Clem about it, she said, "Do you really wanna know the answer?". I agree, part of me is content with just this hi bye thing with her, I mean, at least we communicate? But another part of me isn't content, that selfish part of me wants all or nothing at all. A part of me will always worry about the little things, like if she's had her 3 meals a day, or if she's slept well the previous night, or if her diet is hurting her stomach again, or if she's alone, if there's anyone to keep her company. Trivial stuff that people tend to overlook at times. I'll wonder, I'll worry, I'll still get jealous, I'll still have feelings for her. Stuff like that won't change so soon.

Truth be told, I've never really totally gotten over anyone. Cause, I never had them to begin with and you can't lose what you never had. Not sure if/when I'll have the guts to ask such a question though. I'll probably find some stupid timing and screw everything up again.
Sounds just like me. :)

ps: I finally got a new tagboard up and running. Yippie?

Chris Daughtry - Used To

You used to talk to me like I was the only one around
You used to lean on me - the only other choice was falling down
You used to walk with me like we had nowhere we needed to go
Nice and slow, to no place in particular

We used to have this figured out
We used to breathe without a doubt
When nights were clear you were the first star that I'd see
We used to have this under control
We never thought... We used to know
At least there's you and at least there's me
Can we get this back, can we get this back
To how it used to be

I used to reach for you when I got lost along the way
I used to listen, you always had just the right thing to say
I used to follow you, never really cared where we would go
Fast or slow - to anywhere at all

We used to have this figured out
We used to breathe without a doubt
When nights were clear you were the first star that I'd see
We used to have this under control
We never thought... We used to know
At least there's you and at least there's me
Can we get this back, can we get this back
To how it used to be

I look around me and I want you to be there
Cause I miss the things that we shared
Look around you, it's empty and you're sad
Cause you miss the love that we had
You used to talk to me like I was the only one around
The only one around

We used to have this figured out
We used to breathe without a doubt
When nights were clear you were the first star that I'd see
We used to have this under control
We never thought... We used to know
At least there's you and at least there's me
Can we get this back, can we get this back
To how it used to be
To how it used to be
To how it used to be
To how it used to be
To how it used to be

2007-07-27T02:11:00.000+08:00

Meh, its 2am in the morning and I have school at 8.30am and I can't sleep for some reason.

Weird (I keep spelling it as "werid"), I made sure that I was throughly exhausted by walking home.. It was like an hour's walk. And I went kayaking yesterday so much so that my upper body is k-i-l-l-er. My head was so gonna hit the pillow when I got home, but now I'm wide awake enjoying a Vitagen. Guess even extreme exhaustion can't knock me out. ._.

Okay, maybe I'm worrying about her again, cause of what she posted in her guild thread. "again~ relying on training to keep my not-so-empty mind off things."
Like I told Lyn, maybe I'm being big-headed by thinking that its about me, cause I asked her if she was feeling better earlier on in the night and told her to take better care of herself.
Dunno ah. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

M2M, "Everything you do, (Everything that you do),
Makes me wanna go ooh ooh (ooh ohh).
Everything you say (Everything that you say),
Makes me wanna go ooh ooh (ahh ahh)."
Ahh, my friend sent me the techno version. Getting headachey now. -_-

Craving for the 6th Harry Potter book now. Just re-read the first 5.

2007-07-23T22:42:00.000+08:00

So my romantic life has taken a nose-dive and crashed headfirst into whatever that's on the ground. But hey, I'm getting used to it.

Been occupying myself with anything and everything I can get my hands on. Going out, watching tv, reading books, absorbing myself in music, stopping further from my house just to tire myself out by walking the extra bit, just to think about it less. Its been 23 days now. Anniversary's on the 28th.. We'll, it would have been the 3rd month if we didn't break up.

People tell me I'm obsessed, guess I am. Its hard to forget lah. Especially when even after she's told me she had no other feelings for me other than feelings of awkwardness and guilt, I feel that she still likes me. Maybe I'm just overthinking and being some pompous ass, but she told me that other day that some guy whispered her.

7/19/2007
Rae
the funniest thing happened to me ytd at ah ma....someone pm-ed me and asked "if i told u my fren was interested in u, wad will u do?"
Rae
i said, i'll do nothing
Rae
'not even consider?'...nope, sry
Rae
there's no way i'm gonna go through future accusations le f3

I mean, why's she even telling me this? Weird please. And a mutal friend of ours said that she was saying she was sad and lonely in buddy or something. *Shrugs* She's complicated. Very complicated. I still miss her. =/

The latest thing that's taking up my time's re-reading the entire Harry Potter series. On the 3rd book now, finished the 1st and 2nd last night and this afternoon. I've already re-watched the whole American Pie series. Lotsa tits in The Naked Mile. (:

Looking forward to Wednesday, East Coasting with Sze and Min. Hopefully we'll be able to go kayaking, haven't done that in a long long time. Besides East Coasting being a hell lotta fun, its gonna wipe the shit outta me so by the end of the day, I'll be so stoned that I can't walk straight. Sze's laughing at me on msn now for my typo. Aiya, you should know how absorbed I can get when I'm reading.

Back to hit the books I guess. Till next time.

2007-06-28T15:47:00.000+08:00

Who are you, this person that I see?
Who are you, this person who stands across from me?
You're not the one who tries, though you know you can't win,
You're not the one who'd sacrifice, anything for a kin.
You're not the one who'd out of the blue,
Would whisper to me, "Hello there, I love you."
You're not the one who'd come home late at night,
Though tired and beat, would come, just to see the light
That shines above both our heads,
As well as in our hearts, but now instead,
You've changed, though I don't know how and why,
Or even if you still love me, don't deny,
That you never used to act this way,
Regardless of however bad your day,
No matter what we were going through,
You had always spared a thought for me, and you.
I've been trying, but can't seem to figure out,
If this is all cause you're having doubts,
Or perhaps feeling some sort of regret,
Or a lost love that you just can't forget.
But no matter what's going to happen after this,
I want you to know that if I had just one wish,
I'd wish us back to the way we were,
Back then, before everything became a blur.
Now I'm just lost, and so alone,
Waiting for you, to come take me home.
Baby, I truly still love you with all my heart,
And I pray, we'll fix whatever's keeping us apart.
Till time comes or till time ends,
You'll be my sweetheart, my love, my friend.
So tell me, who are you now, this person that I see?
Cause I'm so afraid you're the one who'll walk away from me.

Its been 2 months since our union. But it doesn't seem to matter to you. Maybe you're right, I shouldn't try, cause I know I can't be who you want me to be. I can't be the one who doesn't give a damn.

2007-05-24T19:27:00.000+08:00

I have so much to say, but I don't know where to begin.

You and him, is there really nothing between you both? Is everything just a figment of my imagination? Of my buddys' imagination? Or is there something else you're hiding from me? When he calls you, you go running. I've never seen you say no to him, but to me? "No mood", "The other people make me uncomfortable". What's this? Aren't I enough for you? Apprently not.

Your problems. You tell me you choose not to share, why? Because you don't want to add to my burden. Well, you not telling me hurts more than anything you could ever tell me. I hate it when I know that something is wrong, but I don't know what, and you won't tell me. So what do I do? I play the goddamn guessing game with myself, and that game never ends.

Things are so different between us now. Don't you feel it? We used to find time to spend with each other. Now that we hardly see each other, I make time for you. "Why?" you ask? Because I love you and I miss you and nothing else is more important than you are. Now when you login, its, "Hi sweetie", then you're off somewhere, probably with him isn't it? So happily training with him when you told me that anegoing bores the shit out of you. You just go for the exp right? Why don't you ask me along then? You should know that I'd be willing to put everything aside, including my issues with him, to train with you. There's nothing else I would love more than to spend time, any time, anywhere, with you.

You tell me I'm pressurizing you by sacrificing everything for you. And you're afraid I expect you to do the same. Well, you know what? I guess I shouldn't expect anything from you now then should I? Everything goes to him and your guild, nothing to me. I get fuck in return. Maybe I shouldn't give up everything for you? But that would mean that I didn't love you. It would mean that I didn't care. At least do the minimal? Before you go off, why don't you look for me, just to say "Hi"? That cheers the fuck outta me you know that? A simple gesture from you, just a slight effort to show me that you love me, makes me happy as hell. Or in between trainings, where do you go? Why're you always with him? Or with someone else? You tell me you're coming to look for me, you cc into my channel, then never show. I track you, you're in town, I'm in fm, and who else is in town? Him. I try to add you to party, but you're already in one? With who? I log in to your account to have a look, and its him in the party with you, only the two of you. We used to party up whenever we met, and you'd be the one to instigate it. Now? I don't see any of that at all. And in msn, we used to be so close, your little gestures really mean alot to me you know? The smiles, hugs, gentle kisses, mean the world to me. Now there's close to none of that.

Why won't you share with me whatever's bothering you? Cause you think I'd just shrug it off and ask you to give up? Whatever made you think that I'd react that way? I care so much for you, and whatever's important to you is sure as hell important to me too. That's why I keep asking what's wrong, but you keep pushing me away, shutting me out. "Rome wasn't built in a day" you said. Fine I'll give you all the goddamn time you ever need. I'm just so afraid you'll be like everyone else, who walks away from me, without word or warning, leaving me back where I started, alone. Maybe you feel that I'm forcing you to change? Fine, I'll stop asking you what's wrong and if you're okay, I'll stop showing you how much I care about you. I'll just leave you the fuck alone. But to me, its not fair if I'm the only one telling you my problems, and you're just keeping yours to yourself. I'd rather not tell you anything at all.

You say you miss me whenever you don't get to see me? Then why don't you make time to see me? I don't see what's so difficult about relogging into a character that's where I am, saying hi, and going back to whereever you were. Or you can always ask me to meet up. You've never done any of that recently. I have been the one asking you if you're free, if you have time for me, and want to do something together. Where's your sense of initiative? Do you know that deep inside, I'm begging, hoping and praying that you'll ask me if I wanna train with you, ask me if I'm free and wanna do something with you.

Baby, things have changed between us. I dare say that you've changed. I've never been anything but open and honest with you but yet I see you hiding things from me. I make sacrifices because I love you and care for you, and I'd rather suffer than see you suffer. I am willing to strip my heart for you, all of it, and talk this through with you, but you keep running. You keep running away from all this, from me. Its not going to solve everything, its just going to make things worse.

I miss you so much, the way we were. Before any of this. Nothing will be the same anymore, you can't just ignore it all and move on. It can never be the same, but it can be better, if you try with me. Cause I'm trying to hard to understand you, to be a part of your life. Don't push me away from you, don't shut me out. Please, I'm begging you. I want to make it work, for us both.

I know they say if you love somebody
You should set them free
But it sure is hard to do
Yeah it sure is hard to do
I know they say if they don't come back again
Then it's meant to be
But those words ain't pulling me through
Cos I'm still in love with you
I spend each day here waiting for a miracle
But it's just you and me going through the mill
Climbing up a hill

I'm tired but I can't sleep, hungry but I can't eat. I can't think about anything else other than us, what's wrong, and how to fix it. What about you? What're you thinking about now?
I don't want this to be our long goodbye. Please.

2007-03-07T18:38:00.000+08:00

I'm listening to a bunch of emo songs and trying not to cry to much.
Don't mind me, I'm just being who I usually am.

I'm supposed to be bogged down with FYP and work for my teacher that I've put aside for too long.
FYP meeting next Thursday in school.
Haven't started on research yet, and my teammates are stressfully hardworking.

Spent the afternoon watching old shows with mum on tv,
Then I watch Casino Royale.
Not bad.

Nothing else to say here.

I wish I could be, every little thing you wanted.

2007-02-07T00:06:00.000+08:00

Oh, why you look so sad
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

2007-01-29T10:44:00.000+08:00

FYP project's been confirmed.
I won't be having any holidays.
:(

Project title : Optimisation of High Throughput In vitro Antiinflammatory
Assay

(A) Project Objectives:
1. To develop and optimize a high throughput in vitro anti-inflammatory
assay (lipoxygenase inhibition activities)
2. To apply the optimized assay in determining inflammatory activities of
plants/food compounds
3. To isolate and detect the active protein metabolites found in plants/food

(B) Project Description:
(Please indicate if project involves human volunteers; IRB application is required.) This project aims to develop and optimize a high throughput colorimetric in vitro anti-inflammatory assay. The colorimetric lipoxygenase assay is based on FOX assay (Ferric Oxidation of Xylenol Orange). The assay is based on the principle that under acidic conditions, a lipid hydroperoxide can oxidize Fe2+ to Fe3+ ions which then oxidizes xylenol orange to form a product that absorbs strongly at 560 nm. Thus, the increased absorbance readings observed indicates an increase amount of the LOX-catalysed products in the mixture. The absorbance readings for control well and test sample well will be collected and used to calculate the percentage inhibition of test sample.
Choice of substrate concentration, enzyme concentration and FOX reagent composition will be investigated to generate the highest possible signal-to-noise ratio. The sensitivity of the assay will be assessed using hydrogen peroxide and will be further validated using known lipoxygenase inhibitors. The optimized assay will then be applied in screening for selected potential active plants and food such as curcumin, ginger, garlic and soybean.
The protein of the plant/food samples will then be extracted and characterized using the SDS-PAGE and/or Thin Layer Chromatography technique. Observation will be made for common protein compounds that exhibit anti-inflammatory properties.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Funeral For A Friend - History

Dear friends of this academy, ohh
Romeo is bleeding to death
To see a friend bleed to death what for
Some kind of metaphor that I can't see?
So, I'll drink until I see it
This sky will make me sick
So, I'll give up on you
I'll give up on this
This sky will make me sick
I'll give up on this
I'll give up on you

Archers in your arches
Raise your fingers for one last salute
And bleed this skyline dry
Your history is mine

So you want to hold me up and bring me down
Yes, you want to hold me up and break me down
I don't care for your sweet scent or,
The way you want me more than I want you
I don't care for your sweet scent or,
The way you want me more than I want you

Archers in your arches
Raise your fingers for one last salute
And bleed this skyline dry
Your history is mine

Archers in your arches
Raise your fingers for one last salute
And bleed this skyline dry
Your history is mine

It's all mine
It's all mine
It's all mine

Archers in your arches
Raise your fingers for one last salute
And bleed this skyline dry
Your history is mine

Archers in your arches
Raise your fingers for one last salute
And bleed this skyline dry
Your history is mine

2007-01-20T05:00:00.000+08:00

Friday Night/Saturday Morning
Met Sze at 9pm and had my dinner at Suntec's Macs. Lena and Ant came promptly at 10pm and we headed over to DXO.
On the way, we saw Prissy-Khoo who irritated me so much on Sze's 18th that I wanted to scratch her with my keys.
The DXO bouncers made me pay the $20 entry fee(it was ladies's night) and I wasn't entitled to free drinks cause I "dressed like a man" and it wasn't "fair to the girls inside". Wth?
We saw Apphia, Audrey Chen and Ying Jie at DXO.
Had 2 tequila limes ($20 entry fee + 2 free drinks)
Danced till we dropped (lol!)
Had makan at the food centre next to DXO around 2am
Had half a can of Kilkenny.. It wasn't as nice as I remembered it. Maybe its cause I didn't follow the "pour contents into a glass immedieately after opening".
Felt a little dizzy after.
We were waiting for Sze to grab a cab outside DXO cause she wanted to NETS her cabfare but the uncle said cannot so she got out and we stoned for a second.
Suddenly, a red car went speeding by, lost control, drifted and crashed into a street sign causing it to collaspe.
I took out my phone and dialled 995 but when I saw the car reversing as if to drive off, I hung up.
However, the driver just proceeded to crash into the bushes on the other side of the road.
This time, I just dialled 995 and told the dispatch where we were and what happened.
A bunch of guys came sprinting out of DXO over to the wrecked car. There was a lot of smoke coming out from under its hood but the guys got it under control.
The four of us just slumped at the roadside trying to shake off the shock that was caused by witnessing the accident.
Finally, after about 5 minutes, two traffic police troopers came, followed after awhile by an ambulance.
After witnessing the driver being brought out from his car to the ambulance in a stretcher, we headed home. He didn't seem in bad shape.
Sze hopped on a cab and Lena, Ant and I took the night rider(SMRT).. But it broke down near MOS/Liang Court. Lena was so freaked out on the bus, saying that it was like Final Destination 4 or something.. lol
We visited Liang Court's toilet cause I needed to pee only to find it infested with baby cockroaches. Then we tried Liang Court's disabled toilet but had no working lights.
I went to pee anyway and we hopped on the next night rider(SBS) and had to pay a new fee($3) cause the driver said that our bus was SMRT.
What crap's that? $6 for a busride home!
Got home around 4.45am.
Thank gosh mum didn't ask much about that night.

I've been obsessed with the movie Step Up over the weekend.
In my opinion, the dance club scene's the best one of the movie.
Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan are hot when the dance man!

Drew Sidora - Til The Dawn

Oh Oh
Oh Oh
Oh Oh
Oh Oh

Ohhhhhhh
Oh no no no

Out on the weekend
Out on the weekend
Out on the weekend
Out on the weekend

Back again, hit the lights, let party begin
Mix a little love, get the mood jumpin
From New York to Miami by ten
I think I'm ready to go, hot...
High, every time that we hit up our spot
See everyone in line, and they're payin a lot
Drop a Ben, them drinks are rich
But the music is free

You want it, you love it
You need it, but you know you gotta have it boy
The music is playin'
(Out on the weekend, Out on the weekend, weekend)

This is for the girls comin' from NYC
I'm feelin' you like yous family
And everybody down from LA to DC
Rockin' to the same old-school beat
This is for the kids in the clubs and the street
Turn teh volume up 3db
Get on the dance floor where the music is free

Slip, on until the dawn's gone with me
Gone until the dawn's gone with me
Where the music is free
Slip, on until the dawn's gone with me
(Out on the weekend, on the weekend, weekend)

[spoken:]
Now all my ladies,
Move it to the front,
show 'em what you got

Ooh, ooh, ooh
Oh, Oh ooh
Oh, Oh ooh
Oh, Oh ooh, ooh, ooh

Fellas?
Move, like that

Oh, Oh (x4)

[Mario:]
I like that
And all my ladies say (Ah, Ah)
And all the fellas say (Ah, Ah)
Everybody say (Ah, Ah)
Come dance with me, ohh (Ah Ah)

[Drew:]
And the story goes just like this
We pack 'em till the morning, there'll be no lettin' off
Dollars droppin onto the table tops
You can shake your thing and there aint no cost

This is for the girls comin' from NYC
I'm feelin' you like yous family
And everybody down from LA to DC
Rockin' to the same old-school beat
This is for the kids in the clubs and the street
Turn teh volume up 3db
Get on the dance floor where the music is free

This is for the girls comin' from NYC
I'm feelin' you like yous family
And everybody down from LA to DC
Rockin' to the same old-school beat
This is for the kids in the clubs and the street
Turn teh volume up 3db
Get on the dance floor where the music is free

Slip, on until the dawn's gone with me
Gone until the dawn's gone with me
Where the music is free
Slip, on until the dawn's gone with me
(Out on the weekend, on the weekend, weekend)

2007-01-19T00:28:00.000+08:00

For the five lives lost today because of me.
I'm so sorry.

Jimmy Eat World - Hear You Me

There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go
I never said thank you for that
I thought I might get one more chance

What would you think of me now,
So lucky, so strong, so proud?
Never said thank you for that
Now I'll never have a chance

May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads, the sleepless go
May angels lead you in

So what would you think of me now
So lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that
Now I'll never have a chance

May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads, the sleepless go
May angels lead you in

May angels lead you in
May angels lead you in
May angels lead you in
May angels lead you in

And if you were with me tonight
I'd sing to you just one last time
A song for a heart so big
God couldn't let it live

May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads, the sleepless go
May angels lead you in

May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads, the sleepless go
May angels lead you in

On sleepless roads, the sleepless go
May angels lead you in

Now I'll never have a chance to say
I'm sorry.

2007-01-18T18:51:00.000+08:00

I feel like shit.
I want to quit.
Fuck people who abandon their pets.

2007-01-14T23:27:00.000+08:00

Hi,
I'm just back from yet another wake.
Its scary to see people going without warning.
=/
Take care buddy.

Suffering from reeeeeally sore shoulders.
Mapling less and less.
Gone back to novel reading.
Busy with HRSS stuff.
Trying my best in school.
Drinking less Coke.
Sleeping more.
Spending less money.
Missing someone.

To all my friends,
You've each played a different part in shaping my character and helping me to be who I am now. I'm grateful to have known each one of you no matter how limited our time together was. Even if we don't talk now, it doesn't mean that I've forgotten you or taken you for granted. Sometimes I may say or do things I don't mean. Please accept my apologies if I have done anything to hurt you. Every single thing that has happened to me has changed me, regardless of good or bad, I guess I'm glad that they happened. (saying all this now because I know I may never get a chance to tell you guys this in future:) You each mean something to me. Love you all. (:

2007-01-12T14:07:00.000+08:00

The Ataris - Summer Wind Was Always Our Song

These break-up songs make sense again
And I really wish they didn't.
Sinatra's singing summer wind
And I'm thinking of the night we met.

Just one last time
Can I hear you say?
You're my little boy
I never want you to go away

Where are you?
Please believe in me.
I'm not hanging up the phone
'til I hear you say,

I love you.
I need you near.
Just give me one last chance
And I'll never let you down again.

Oh and what I wouldn't give
Just to kiss your lips again
To hold your hand next to my heart
And wake up with you in our apartment.

Just one last time
Can I call you my sweetheart
My best friend
Why do all good things come to an end.

Where are you?
Please believe in me.
I'm not hanging up the phone
'til I hear you say,

I love you.
I need you near.
Just give me one last chance
And I'll never let you down again.

2007-01-05T10:12:00.000+08:00

Your silence kills me.
Help me to forget.
Decide to be either naughty or nice.
Don't stay in between.
God, I miss you.

Close your eyes, make a wish
This could last forever
If only you could stay, with me now
So tell me what it is that keeps us from each other now
Yeah, its coming to get me
You're under my skin

No I can't let you go
You're a part of me now
Caught by the taste of your kiss
And I don't wanna know the reason why I can't stay forever like this
Now I'm climbing the walls cuz I miss, you

2007-01-04T02:45:00.000+08:00

(2.44am)
School in about 6 hours!
Its only five weeks its only five weeks its only five weeks.

2007-01-02T03:31:00.000+08:00

Its only the start of the second day of 2007 and already I'm feeling like an emo shitfuck.

I'm tired, hungry and so so alone.

We were both 18 and it felt so right
Sleeping all day, staying up all night
Staying up all night

If I could find you now things would get better
We could leave this town and run forever
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away

2006-12-31T21:41:00.000+08:00

Happy end of the year.

2006-12-31T02:46:00.000+08:00

LOL. (sorry feli)

2006-12-30T03:01:00.000+08:00

I woke up from this dream to find that I was sleeping
So I went back to sleep and I dreamed I was awake
I locked myself inside but you were on the outside
I stood outside and watched but I couldn't let you in

If only you could see that you that is a part of me
Maybe you could see inside yourself

Wrote a letter to myself, but I couldn't bear to send it
So I tore it up and wrote a letter to a friend

If only you could know that growing up means letting go
Maybe then you'd grow up by yourself

I'm growing up again
I'm learning to accept
That all good things must come to an end
I'm growing up again
I'm trying to understand what it's like
To let go of a friend

2006-12-27T01:03:00.000+08:00

I don't know why you affect me this way. It wasn't supposed to mean anything, but it turned out to mean everything. I shouldn't have trusted my heart and let myself go, thinking that this time would be different from all the others. That this time would be special. I'm not saying that it wasn't special for that short duration cause it was. I really enjoyed your company and miss it dearly. However, you don't seem to notice my feelings and I. Hell, I don't think you even care. Do you know that I still cry over you? Even though it wasn't much.. or anything for that matter. I'm such a mess right now. At the slightest mention of your name my mood will sour and I'd just get depressed and moodless. I can't go on like this. People say "You'll get over it in time", but I wonder if I'll ever "get over it" proper. Almost everything makes me think about you. And seeing your brother online everyday doesn't help matters.

Everything will be wonderful someday?
Yeah right.

I miss you. And I hope to the heavens that you'll come back.

Backstreet Boys - Just Want You To Know

Looking at your picture from when we first met
You gave me a smile that I could never forget
And nothing I could do could protect me from you that night
Wrapped around your finger, always in my mind
The days they blend 'cause we stayed up all night
Yeah, you and I were everything, everything to me

I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I'll make it through, and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again, just want you to know

All the doors are closing
I'm trying to move ahead
And deep inside I wish it was me instead
My dreams are empty from the day
The day you slipped away

And I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I'll make it through, and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again, just want you to know

That since I lost you, I lost myself
I know I can't fake it, there's no one else

I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I'll make it through, and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again, just want you to know

Cause I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I'll make it through, and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again, just want you to know

2006-12-26T06:14:00.000+08:00

Its 6.31am.
I slept at 10pm yesterday and got up at 2am today.
Can't seem to get back to sleep.
Maybe its going overboard.
Say goodnight and go.

I'm having trouble sleeping
I'm thinking of what you said
About the tears been shed
Leave me

It's you
Now and always you, but never me
I've never dared to, let my feelings free
Why's it always you, and never me?
I've never cared too much about honesty

2006-12-25T19:29:00.000+08:00

baah christmas.

2006-12-24T02:36:00.000+08:00

I've just learnt about Socks's passing.
I.. I don't know what to say.
I will just pray.
Take care Jo.

It's hard even though I said I'd let go.
I still cry when I think about you.
The holidays never fail to make me sad.

Daphne Loves Derby - Christmas Lights

Its been two weeks since you left from this town
Three more days then you'll be home to save me
From this winter chill
Christmas lights in different shades of blue
I looked so pale, I feel so sick
To not be here with you

Just tell me that
You miss me too
You've been gone for too long

And I
I need you to be back home with me now
The snow outside means nothing when you're gone
Everything I needed is in you
So please come back

Please tell me everything about your stay
Swear I'll listen to the end
Even if you dont make sense now
December never was this dull before
I'll wait for your return
Just tell me you'll return

Just tell me that
You miss me too
You've been gone for too long

And I
I need you to be back home with me now
The snow outside means nothing when you're gone
Everything I needed is in you
So please come back

Come back

And I
I need you to be back home with me now
The snow outside means nothing when you're gone
Everything I needed is in you
So please come back

2006-12-23T03:44:00.000+08:00

Dang, I cried whilst watching this.

I wasn't meant to love like this
Not without you

Cause when I look at my life
How the pieces fall into place
It just wouldn't rhyme
Without you
When I see how my path
Seemed to end up before your face
The state of my heart
The place where we are
Was written in the stars

2006-12-23T02:44:00.000+08:00

FCC's Christmas Potluck today(Friday)!
Only Sze, Ant and I were on time.
The rest were late.
Met Sze and Ant at gardens then we went to get drinks and cabbed to Ant's.
Jan came, then Lena&Colin, and finally Feli&Ale.
There was pizza, shephards pie, rice with msg and a lot of chicken wings.
We managed to finish almost everything despite the huge amount of food.
Hung around Ant's backroom channel surfing while a sick Lena slept.
When it got late, Lena&Colin left, followed by Jan and I awhile later.
There were some.. complications so Jan and I ended up at Jalan Kayu for latenight taohuay and prata.
We then walked from Jalan Kayu to my place.
Took an hour plus.
It was pretty fun emoing around on deserted roads with wet puddles of muddy stuff everywhere.
When we walked past NanChiauHigh there was a light on in the school.
Stupid Jan pointed it out to me and we were both so freaked that we screamed.
And our screams echoed off the blocks nearby.
So scary lah.
But fun.

Ant, my Breezer's still in your fridge and the ice cream went untouched. I like Kitty.
Feli, its been soooo long since I last saw you. You're really looking more and more like Auntie lah.
Jan, hope your problems get resolved soon. Lemmie know if there's anything ya? Don't follow your "family curse" thing.
Lena, I hope Colin isn't too freaked out by us. Chicken wings were yummy. Get well soon.
Sze, your shephards pie and rice with msg nice la. But I was too full to finish. Hee.
FCC, I had fun. Hope you guys did too.

Will someone come hold me? I feel so alone..

Well the stars aren't out tonight
But neither are we to look up at them
Why does hello feel like goodbye?

2006-12-22T01:56:00.000+08:00

Yellowcard - View From Heaven

I'm just so tired
Won't you sing me to sleep
Fly through my dreams
So I can hitch a ride
With you tonight
And get away from this place
Have a new name and face
I just ain't the same without you in my life

Late night drives
All alone in my car
I can't help but start
Singing lines
From all our favorite songs
And melodies in the air
Singing, life just ain't fair
But sometimes I still just can't
Believe you're gone

And I'm sure the view from Heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in Heaven
Then we will make it through
One more year, down here

Feel your fire, when it's cold in my heart
And things sorta start reminding me
Of my last night with you
I only need one more day
Just one more chance to say
I wish that I had gone up with you too

And I'm sure the view from Heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in Heaven
Then we will make it through
One more year, down here

You won't be coming back
And I didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish I got to say goodbye

And I'm sure the view from Heaven
Beats the hell out of mine here
And if we all believe in Heaven
Then we will make it through
One more year, down here

I hope that all is well in Heaven
Cause it's all shot to hell down here
I hope that I find you in Heaven
Cause I'm so lost without you down here

You won't be coming back
And I didn't get to say goodbye
I really wish I got to say goodbye

2006-12-19T05:23:00.000+08:00

I'm self-learning photoshop!
It keeps me up till 6am in the morning!

2006-12-18T04:05:00.000+08:00

I was happy angry at you.
Damn.

Breaking Benjamin - Forget it

Its a crime, you let it happen to me
Nevermind, I let it happen to you
Outta mind, forget it
There's nothing to lose but my mind and all the things I wanted

Everytime I get it, throw it away
It's a sign, I get it, I wanna stay
By the time I lose it, I'm not afraid
I'm alive but I can surely fake it

How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me?
You're the part of me that I don't wanna see
Forget it, forget it, forget it
Forget it, forget it, forget it
Forget it, forget it, forget it
Forget it, forget it, forget it
Forget it, forget it

There's a place I see you, follow me
Just a taste of all that might come to be
I'm alone but holding breath you can breathe
To question every answer counted

Just fade away
Please let me stay
Caught in your way
Just fade away
Please let me stay
Caught in your way
Forget it, forget it, forget it
Forget it, forget it, forget it
Forget it, forget it, forget it
Forget it, forget it, forget it
Forget it, forget it

It's a crime, you let it happen to me
I don't mind, I love it, easy to please
Nevermind, forget it, just memory
Or a page inside a spiral notebook

Just fade away
Please let me stay
Caught in your way
I can live forever here
Just fade away
Please let me stay
Caught in your way
I can live forever here

How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me?
You're the part of me that I don't wanna see
I can live forever here

2006-12-16T02:18:00.000+08:00

People all walking, leaving behind,
Someone who wants them to stay.

2006-12-14T05:42:00.000+08:00

Forget my last post.
I'm watching the sun rise and thinking of you all over again.
Damn you darling.

Decorating the tree made me think of you
And how much I'd love for you to be there with me.

The sunrise is beautiful.

2006-12-14T01:30:00.000+08:00

Goodbye baby,
Thank you for the memories.
love,
tato

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you, too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

2006-12-10T22:15:00.000+08:00

Hanging onto photographs, scenes of better days
Self-explaining silhouettes of games I used to play
I don't think I'll ever get around to throwing them away
Nothing seems to happen baby since you've been away

Crossword puzzle, half completed, lying on the floor
Cigarette butts seem to lead me nearer to the door
I don't think you're ever coming round any more
I have never felt this bad at any time before

Won't you come back
Baby won't you come back
I need you
Oh how I need you

Won't you come on home baby,
I need you.

2006-12-09T00:53:00.000+08:00

Thursday,
Went to town with Rene to watch Fiona work at her they-pay-me-to-just-sit-there job.
It was literally just sitting there doing nuts.
We accompanied her on her break and stood around for another 3 hours chatting.
Met Gina Ang again after what, 3 years of no contact?
We ranted and raved about old school times and feeling old.
Feels good to see old friends, no matter how distant.

Went to meet my cousins after that.
Had Subway at cini(the outlet there very kiam siap) and we wanted to catch Open Season but umm we missed the show by 15 minutes cause I went late.
Oops.
So we walked to the Balcony and had a couple of drinks.
And there I found the older brother I never had.
Muahaha..
Adopted Yi Ge and he gentlemenly paid for all our drinks.
None of us were drunk or high so we drove to Newton for supper.
Chicken wings rock my socks.
Jasmine was going O.O at how much chicken wings I could stomach.
Rachel's mum sponsored the foodfest so there was orh lua and stingray too.
We had this suprisingly enlightening talk about our lives and futures.
I never knew my cousin was so deep.
Slept at four plus.

Friday,
Got up at eight am and I couldn't fall back asleep.
The thing with nycki was bugging me badly so I smsed her.
Managed to sleep till 11 after that but got up when she replied.
"I'll think about it."
Thanks darling, thanks ah.
You sooo obviously give a fuck about my feelings.
><

Met Sze and Lena in town.
Dropped by Fiona's and walked aimlessly around Paragon's basement.
Picked Fiona up and we went for sushi at cini.
I ate my potato thingy (which took an hour to arrive) and coke.
Then we walked down to MonsterCue intending to shoot some pool.
But uncle raised the price to friggin $10.50 per hour.
Nucking futs! ><
So onward to Plaza Sing.
Daiso is cool. Their little paper umbrellas really do shield you from the sun.
Got myself this:

Anthea says,
"CHAIRMAN! YOU GOT PROMOTED LAH!"

Had some Sweet Secrets after.
Yummy mudcake with milk!
But the milk cost two-bloody-fifty! And it wasn't fantastic!
Met Ant and we went to dinner.
Sat and talked about alot about the where-will-we-be-five-years-down-the-road shit.
Due to Ant's creativity, we left pretty late.
Will post pictures of today once Lena sends 'em.

Cheers.

2006-12-06T03:39:00.000+08:00

Conversations on a tagboard:

ant: wahlao you'll damn free already la! dammit...

janice: queensway sounds good! then we can go see my TOO BIG FOR ME underground shoes that i like. remember? haha!

janice: ant u don't make sense, i don't know how you know i'm damn free.. but im really damn free now lah! (:

ant: it's written in one of your entries la! haha. wahlaosey... call me out! maybe i can... maybe...

janice: where got! i never write lah! haha... which entry.. anyhow only.. when u start ur holidays or when are u free?

char: fcuk.. that woman will drop dead any minute..

ant: the friday, dec 1st entry. you quit your job so you're at home alot. haha! you don't anyhow me! free on weekdays! hols start on 17th \: grawrrr....

janice: wahahaha! oh i didn't remember saying that, but apparently i did lah. oh wells... haha! ant will drop dead anytime? wahahha!!! (:

janice: funeral for a friend la. LAME ****. ahahhaha!

janice: weekdays meaning monday to friday right?? haha! nvm lah. i will be MORE free after the 12th. once im done with the assignment (:

jOlEnE: i hate the models ... so skiinny !!! onli BONES ..!!! i cant believe it .. they are humans !!!

ant: lawl... wth?!?!!! hahaha. anything! char's talking about the skinny models la, not me!

janice: omg. i thought char was talking about you lah ant! hahah!!! lol... stupid.

janice: char's stupid haha!

janice: i thought was trying to say you are damn busy.. to the point you will drop dead anytime! hahahhaha!!! stupid..

janice: jolene, my blog looks nicer than yours. come on...

janice: drop dead anytime! ahhahahah! omg... omg... this is damn stupid lah!......

ant: hahaha siao!

janice: ................

char: jan you think too much. g'night.

And Janice says I'm stupid.
lol.

I'm in the middle of a break down,
Watching you scream,
In the middle of a break down,
Screaming at me.

And by the way,
By the way,
What made you think youd have it your way,
And by the way,
By the way,
Don't say I didn't warn you,
That I'll always stay the same.

2006-12-04T18:42:00.000+08:00

"Take care of yourself.. Dont think we'll ever talk again. So, goodbye."
You said I'd never lose you,
But I lost you anyway.
I wish you'd give a damn about the way I feel.
Tyler was right, its better not to want anything at all.

Do you ever feel like crying?
Do you ever feel like giving up?
I raise my hands up towards the sky
And say this prayer for you tonight,
Because nothing is impossible.

As I sit here all alone,
I wonder how I'm supposed to carry on
When you're gone.

I'll never be the same without you,
I love you more than you will ever know.
So maybe now you finally know:
Sometimes we're helpless and alone,
But you can't let it keep you weighted down.
You must go on.

The hardest part isn't finding what we need to be,
It's being content with who we are.

2006-12-03T01:22:00.000+08:00

Tony Hawk is a skateboarding legend.

http://www.thp8.com/

2006-12-03T00:32:00.000+08:00

Just watch Step Up and I must say that it is one heck of an inspiring show.
Especially the line, "Do you think this is the best we can be?"
I felt like picking up all the things I gave up on and giving them a second chance.
Basketball, guitar, friends, studies, life.
There was another line that I felt I could relate to too.
"For me, its just better not to want anything. That way if it goes away or doesn't happen, y'know, it just doesn't matter."

Wonder how long the feeling will last this time.

Funeral For A Friend - This Year's Most Open Heartbreak

Broken hearts
Swept to hands that tied me
It's a pointles game
What better, let's play
Suicide
To kiss your kids goodnight
What you take from them
What they've taken from you

To be the last one
Who will sing you to sleep
To be the last one
Who will sing you to

Just like your broken records (your broken)
Will convert for you tonight

Broken hearts
Swept to hands that tied me
It's a pointles game
What better, let's play
Suicide
To kiss your kids goodnight
What you take from them
What they've taken from you

Just like your broken records (your broken)
Will convert for you tonight
Just like your broken records (your broken)
Will convert for you tonight

(We well never be the same)
Same old songs on a brand new stereo
(We well never be the same)
Same old songs on a brand new stereo
(We well never be the same)
Same old songs on a brand new stereo

Same old songs

To be the last one
Who will sing you to sleep
To be the last one
Who will sing you to

Just like your broken records (your broken)
Will convert for you tonight
Just like your broken records (your broken)
Will convert for you tonight

2006-11-30T20:34:00.000+08:00

My greatgrandma passed away earlier this week.
Yet another wake, another cremation, another death, another soul lost.
At least my cousins and I get to catch up.
Yeah they're always nice to have around.

Its hard to live your life to the fullest when all you do is think about the past.
Been friggin emo these few days.
Over God knows what.
I hope He tells me, cause I haven't got a clue.
I thought walking would help but it didn't.
Just blank walked.
Maybe I'll try again another time.

Ought to get out and exercise more.
Kick some ass around the court.
Holidays in 6 days.

sunglasses for your eyes,
shades for your soul.
cover up the scars, since
there's noone there to hold,
you.

2006-11-25T22:15:00.000+08:00

Hold on to the memories,
Cause in the end they're all you'll have left.
Don't worry,
I'll never forget you.
(:

Busted - Everything I Knew

Everything I knew, just went out the window,
Now I can't depend on you forever.
And I never thought I'd see my life walk away from me,
I thought we'd always be together.

No I shouldn't have to pay for every word I say,
And I wish I could change your decision,
Now you know that I've tried to tell you what it's like,
But you just wouldn't listen.

Lets go back, lets rewind to the days,
That remind me of all the good times,
That we spent together.
And I don't know why we just let it all slide,
When we both knew inside we were right for each other,
I don't know what to do,
Cos you're everything that I knew.

Everyday's the same its like tomorrow never came,
We used to talk about whatever.
The seasons never changed,
We never used to act our age,
Everytime we were together.

No I shouldn't have to pay for every word I say,
And I wish I could change your decision,
Now you know that I've tried to tell you what its like,
But you just wouldn't listen.

Lets go back, lets rewind to the days,
That remind me of all the good times,
That we spent together.
And I don't know why we just let it all slide,
When we both knew inside we were right for each other,
I don't know what to do,
Cos you're everything that I knew.

How can you just walk out of my life,
Without even giving a reason,
And how can you look so good,
The day I watched you leave me.

Lets go back, lets rewind to the days,
That remind me of all the good times,
That we spent together,
And I don't know why we just let it all slide.
When we both knew inside we were right for each other,

Lets go back, lets rewind to the days,
That remind me of all the good times,
That we spent together,
And I don't know why we just let it all slide,
When we both knew inside we were right for each other,
I don't know what to do,
Cos you're everything that I knew.

2006-11-23T23:17:00.000+08:00

Damn you valen for sending me such old songs!

"Could you love a boy like me like me
Tell me could you love a boy like me"
-Does the hand movements along with the video-

2006-11-22T22:00:00.000+08:00

I'm back on maple after I saw my idol altwtips.
So much for boycotting.
Damn Wiznet for making such an addictive game.

2006-11-21T13:41:00.000+08:00

I am happy.
I have just had Ben&Jerry's Cookie Dough!
Yummers.

I'm just back from a self-declared one week long holiday and my life and school's a mess.
So I decided that I need some time away from maple.
Four days to be exact.
But my evenings still seem so full of plans.
Roar!

Water broken voice
Saturates a microphone
Into a receiver with no tongue
Offering little to what it knows

2006-11-18T12:29:00.000+08:00

Today is not better.
Tomorrow will be worse.
Crap.

All eyes off me
No more pathetic memories

2006-11-17T08:54:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRETZBELLE!!!

Don't be so emo anymore okay? People love you. (:
Faster tell us when to have dinner with you?

So many things are happening today
One-two-oh later I hope.
But its so fucking laggy now.

Met PiakPiak last night.
Hope that will end the ks/looting/leeching.
:(

Pwned the ahmah boss the night before!
Muahahaha.. So happy.

I think tomorrow, will be better.
One day.

2006-11-13T13:40:00.000+08:00

Holy shit,
I'm becoming an emo kia all over again!
-Gasps-

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you can not hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

2006-11-12T16:40:00.000+08:00

That was it.
My reaction was the way I predicted you'd react.

I watched the sun rise this morning.
Little things like these go unappreciated sometimes.
Its getting colder.
Take care.

Breaking Benjamin - Rain

Take a photograph, it'll be the last
Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here
I don't have a past, I just have a chance
Not a family or honest plea remains to say

Rain rain go away, come again another day
All the world is waiting for the sun

Is it you I want, or just the notion of
Your heart to wrap around so I can find my way around
Safe to say from here, you're getting closer now
We are never sad cause we are not allowed to be

Rain rain go away, come again another day
All the world is waiting for the sun
Rain rain go away, come again another day
All the world is waiting for the sun

To lie here under you is all that I could ever do
To lie here under you is all
To lie here under you is all that I could ever do
To lie here under you is all

Rain rain go away, come again another day
All the world is waiting for the sun
Rain rain go away, come again another day
All the world is waiting for the sun
All the world is waiting for the sun
All the world is waiting for the sun

2006-11-11T13:35:00.000+08:00

Its raining now.
I feel so sad.
Maybe it was the emo music brought over from last night.

I wonder if it will rain like this next week.
I hope you will make the sun shine.

2006-11-11T01:49:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABOON!!
You have joined the ranks of the 18-year-olds!
And I saw you just now! (:

Its 1.43 in the am and I'm still awake.
I've a ton of work that's piled up over the week.
Flunked Recombinant DNA today.
Have yet to get started on homework.
Not to mention laundry, mopping the floors, folding the clothes, grooming the rabbits and my HRSS stuff.
Being alone at home's fun for awhile.
Then it just gets so lucking fonely.

The evening was pretty alright.
A little dull if I may say so, but fun nonetheless.
Ant, Jan, Lena.
Cigs, Beer, TaiDi, Hangman.
Try to guess the anwers.

This was the hardest one of all.

Eternally, the sun has set to mourning
And contoured are the backgrounds
On the canvas to which our lives are painted

2006-11-09T17:54:00.000+08:00

I wish I could stop time,
So we'd stay right where we are.

Eight days to D-day.
Thoughts of the ninth day chill me.

2006-11-06T23:53:00.000+08:00

I'm updating this.
And I got a new tagboard. Yaay.

Had a shitasscrap weekend.
My laptop died on me on Thursday night.
Nadzim went with me to the Fugitsu service centre after school on Friday.
I owe him dinner.
They said I could collect in two to three days.
Called them on Sunday at 5+.
They called me back at 6 to say I could collect.
I was in Bukit Batok and mum said "Save money" so I took two buses to town, then had to walk to Funan from CHIJMES.
I got there and 7.10pm and guess what,
"I'm so sorry, we're closed. We close at 7."
What. The. Fuck.

Skipped school today.
The morning was good.
Went down yet again to Funan to get my laptop.
It was working fine till I got home.
Black screen now.
So I went back down.
The guy was nice, Adrian.
He was the one who fixed my fan and he got this new problem done in half an hour.
Fully functional laptop now.
(:
Just in time for Immuno UT tmr.
For which I've yet to study for.

Chatting with Anthea, Feli, Janice and Lena on msn.
Miss those people. (ant says, "char can't shoot well")
They keep me awake too.
But they always laugh at me. :(

Extract:
feli - Passion and Warfare. says:
vivo city is a madhouse
ifs and maybes. says:
vivo city
ifs and maybes. says:
lol
a movie script ending. says:
why mad house
ifs and maybes. says:
alot of mad people in one house?
lena. says:
...
ant ; says:
lawl!
feli - Passion and Warfare. says:
why, yes char!
ant ; says:
no
ant ; says:
cos sometimes the house goes crazy

(continued)
feli - Passion and Warfare. says:
*koff. and i'm seeeek. =(
lena. says:
awwww
a movie script ending. says:
brb
lena. says:
go see doctor! and take medicine! and lim water!
ant ; says:
cannot cut hair
ifs and maybes. says:
lim water
ifs and maybes. says:
water from lim
feli - Passion and Warfare. says:
must ask sze
lena. says:
hahaha
lena. says:
das roight!
ifs and maybes. says:
HAHA
ant ; says:
cannot cut hair if seeek!
feli - Passion and Warfare. says:
HAHHAOMGGGGGGGGGGGAWDS
lena. says:
why cannots!
feli - Passion and Warfare. says:
eh why cannot cut hair!
ant ; says:
cos if you were a guy, you have to wear turbann
ant ; says:
seeek
feli - Passion and Warfare. says:
aaaaand??
lena. says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA THE FUCK
feli - Passion and Warfare. says:
oh
feli - Passion and Warfare. says:
my
feli - Passion and Warfare. says:
god
ant ; says:
sikh

(and more)
ant ; says:
so friday how ?
ifs and maybes. says:
no idea
ifs and maybes. says:
we always talk but never get anything planned
ant ; says:
ahaha
ant ; says:
yeah
lena. says:
lol
lena. says:
NATO!

2006-10-27T13:47:00.000+08:00

Close to noone can keep me up the entire night.
Close to.

20 days to go.

2006-10-23T14:32:00.000+08:00

Anatomy today!
10 people out of a class of 25 came.
Here's to hoping that we end early today.
Got some funky dinner thing with my sister's teacher later on.
Like huh? Its got nothing to do with me!
But I still have to go.
-Yawn-

Friday was fun. (:
But I'm such a whimp. ><

Take care pretz. =/ You make me worry.

2006-10-20T10:57:00.000+08:00

I'll keep this secret with me
I'll take this to the grave
I can never let you find out
Who I really am

How do you live a lie?

2006-10-18T10:58:00.000+08:00

I need to learn that sleeping at 6am and waking up at 8am and 10am isn't gonna help my body. Gaaah.. I can't sleep!

2006-10-16T09:46:00.000+08:00

Ataris - My Reply

i got your letter and the poetry you sent me
postmarked in december of last year
i really hope you're doing better
all your friends close by your side
one step closer to recovery

i wish there was something i could say
to erase each and every page
you've been through
even though its not my place to save you

i appreciate but can't accept
this thank you note that's sealed with your last breath
and i won't stand aside
and listen to you give up

if you'll just hold on for one more second
just hold on to what you have
just hold on, just hold on
if you'll just hold on for one more second
just hold on to what you have
just hold on, just hold on
on

these arms remain stretched out to you
maybe someday you'll accept them
maybe its too late to save
a young girl's heart that's once stopped beating

wake up, wake up you've gotta believe
wake up, wake up
you can't give up time keeps going on without us
long after we're dead and gone

i wish there was something i could say
to erase each and every page
you've been through
even though its not my place to save you

i appreciate but cant accept
this thank you note that's sealed with your last breath
and i won't stand aside
and listen to you give up

if you'll just hold on for one more second
just hold on to what you have
just hold on, just hold on
if you'll just hold on for one more second
just hold on to what you have
just hold on, just hold on
on

2006-10-13T08:59:00.000+08:00

5 more weeks.

And a huge Happy Birthday going out to a friend.

2006-10-10T17:40:00.000+08:00

(x

10.10.06

2006-10-09T15:52:00.000+08:00

Am I going overboard?
Maybe.
=/
Someone hold me back.
Someone stop me.
From falling all over again.
And getting nothing in return.
Hold me down.
Please, stop me.
Cause it seems I can't stop myself.

Did you get my letter I wrote you but I did not send?

2006-10-08T16:23:00.000+08:00

Warning: Killer Haze.

At least its cleared up a bit now.
PSI hit 150 yesterday!
At Gardens it looked as if there was always someone smoking around you.
Crashed Lyn's in the afternoon the met Belle and Min for dinner at Chomps.
Walked around a bit then we decided to get goodies!
Ben&Jerry's Phish Food and Sara Lee's cheesecake at Lyn's!
Plus Fast and Furious! Drift drift drift
Got home pretty late last night. (:

Zouk was pretty cool.
Saw a lot of people.
It ended pretty early though.. 9.30pm.
And there wasn't any real clubbing.
I had the most alcohol I've ever drunk in my life.
I'm such a fucking loser la.

Seems like you're halfway around the world.

2006-10-05T15:51:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow's Friday!
Zouk-ing!
Saturday's laning!
Sunday's lunching!
Busy weekend. =/

Changed my blogskin again.
During class presentations.
Molecular Cell Biology's pretty Biochem based.
I think I'm gonna get lost along the way again.

Its different when you're not around.
Please come back soon.

43 more days to go.

2006-09-28T15:11:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow's Friday!!

Having presentations now.
I so don't get what's being discussed.
HRSS event this Sat and Sun at Taka.
Someone go out with me so I don't have to stay there the entire day?

Like Lena said,
"For someone nice",
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

2006-09-25T08:44:00.000+08:00

www.jumzd.blogspot.com
How dare he flame the IJ name.
Read and get angry people.

Its 8.38am on the third day of school on a Monday.
Mmm the facilitator just came in.
Nadzim's trying to get people to vote for Hady now.
Sucha racist fellow. (:
So bloody sleepy.
Anatomy & Physiology today.
I hope more Bio Bio.
Ahhh..
Sleepy.

I'm missin' my sunshine. =/
Have to wait till Friday evening.